Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Old Bats!!!

OMG...I made it through Diva's school break! I didn't hang her by her toes, I didn't pull my hair out, I didn't sit in a corner rocking back and forth muttering unrecognizable words drooling in a cup (okay, I did drool in a cup!)! I made it!!!

And Diva is not harmed! Her friends made it home without a mark on them and my hubby is still alive! So, I survived!!!! *firecracker takes a collective sigh of relief*

I'm telling you what people......having one child is not as easy as it looks! My therory is that one lonely child is hard work! She is bossy, needy, bored, mouthy, whiny and moody! Gee....she sorta sounds like me!

I need to start watching my road rage though! Diva is picking up on it lately! Yesterday, we were in the car after going to the grocery store (and me telling her "NO" over 5000X's) when we came upon a four-way stop! There was a car coming, but was not yet at the stop sign so I proceeded to edge forward! Then I noticed that this boat of a car was not going to stop! I slammed on the breaks and utter a few choice words that would make a sailor blush! I notice that the on coming car was being manuvered by a 100yr old lady! So, being that I always have more tolerance and compassion for my elders I wave the old bat thru! What does this wrinkled raisen do......she flips me off! Yep, the old goat was pissed at me even though I was not in the wrong! Nevermind the fact that this blue hair couldn't even see over the steering wheel! I stare at her in amazement! Diva on the other hand is dumbfounded!

Diva: "Oh My Gosh.......that old lady just gave you the bad finger! She was the one who didn't stop! What is the matter with her??? What a mean old women!!! I'm NOT gonna be nice to her if I ever see her around town!!! And will not help her across the street EVER!!!"

*note: Diva has never helped an old person across the street and one time she told me that old people stink so she is not a lover of elders like her mom! And she doesn't like babies either b/c they poop their pants and stink!

*note: Diva is infaturated with farting and pooping so this makes no sense to me!!! Diva farts at least 20x's a day and is a fart sniffer! Do you see the irony here???

*note: I need a beer!!!!!!

I'm really screwing this kid up, eh???

*note: Forget the beer....I'm going straight for the taquilla with the worm!!!
This is Diva....dressed as a ghoul! I will not insert a comment here!
By the way......just a quick note! I got a few emails that were less then friendly! These so called people obviously think I am the devil for selling PartyGals. This made me laugh until I dribbled in my spanx! Honestly, if you don't like coming here.....ummmm....I don't know..maybe don't come back you idiots!!! And your emails make me giggle! They are not hurtful and they are not worth your time!! Have a great day!


Mama Zen said...

I am TOTALLY with you on the only child thing! With an only, Mommy is the sucker who gets roped into playing Candyland. Oh, how I hate Candyland!

Kathryn said...

I'll lend you my three boys for a few weeks if you like. :)
I know. I'm so nice like that.

Don't you just love the rude emails? I think they are hilarious. Like I'm going to get my undies in a bunch over someone I don't even know. hehe Too funny.

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

sorry took me so long to get bacj atcha....LIFE yanno.

THANK YOU for the sweet comment on my little dude - he rocks my world!

and YES! you are the ONLY person who played my game and GOT IT RIGHT! HooooooRAH!

as for strangers email n ya - BOOOOOOOOO on them.


in da hizzzzouse

and i love the elderly too! ;-)
and babies!

Nickie said...

Nasty emails are a big belly laugh! If you don't like it--don't look!!! Don't think about it and don't freakin' bother the people who do--each to their own!!

PS--funny story about the 100 year old driver. We seem to have a lot of those in our good state. I too have empathy though as I have respect for my elders and truly am jealous that age gives you a license to do/say pretty much whatever you want to. I can't wait for my old age years--look out youths of tomorrow!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL, Nasty emails always make me laugh, specially cuz they always come from holier than thou people.

Heck, what is it to anyone else if you sell partygals? I hate those too, who troll through blogs looking for thing to criticize, yet they never have the courage to leave a link back to their own blog or website. Shows how pathetic they really are, and they don't even realize it lol.

noble pig said...

Isn't it shocking when some old lady or man gives you the bird. It's like whoa...hold on to your bloomers there...funny story though. Have a good day since fart sniffer is back in school.

Nissa - said...

I love that your diva already gets road rage! Way to teach 'em young!lol

And just who are these prudes emailing you so rudely??

Speaking of e-mail, check yours, cuz you won my giveaway! :)

Amy said...

Old people crack me up! They just don't give a damn about anything! Man I hope I'm an ass when I'm old!

LunaNik said...

Yeah, why is it that the judgemental and, more often than not, nasty emails or comments are always from the hardcore "God fearin' folk"???


You do your thing girl!!

Don Mills Diva said...

I can't believe people are sending you e-mails over that - aren't there like a zillion more constructive things one could be doing with their time?

FUN-ky Mama said...

ignore those emails, they're just jealous. I'll join you in that tequila shot!

Kathryn said...

Do you know I didn't even know what Party Girls was? I just looked it up. HAHAHA!!! I am so lame!
You rock!

Smitty76 said...

I. Love. Sex. Toys.