1) I would take Ninja classes, be instructed by the best Ninja ever (Uma Thruman in Kill Bill) and I would take my Ninja ass over to the Middle East, hunt down that devil Osama and bring him back to the US. Then I would put his stupid ass on a platform in the middle of town square and allow friends and family of the lost souls in the 911 events seek revenge. If this is wrong in your eyes, I'm sorry! But I WILL NEVER FORGET THE TRAGEDY THAT UNFOLDED BEFORE OUR EYES ON SEPT 11TH! NEVER!!! And Osama deserves the harshest punishment!!!
2) Any freak whom ever touches or harms innocent children would be put in a tiny room, toothpicks holding their eyes open to watch Richard Simmons "Sweating to the Oldies" NAKED! If by chance that doesn't work, then I would do "Yoga Booty Ballet" NAKED! Trust me, this is far worse then frying their asses!!!! And in the case of raping a child, I would have Michael Jackson cut off their weiners and shove it down their throat! There is no tolerance for child abuse/molestation/murder!!!!!
3) I would declare 1 day a month "National Womens Day" as a holiday and all women would be forced to leave the house and hang with their friends!
4) Animal cruelty would result in me using a gun that is big enough to blow the nuts off of the Jolly Green Giant and shoot the offender in the foot!!!!