Wednesday, February 13, 2008

If I was the President!

If I were President of the US....this is what I would do!

1) I would take Ninja classes, be instructed by the best Ninja ever (Uma Thruman in Kill Bill) and I would take my Ninja ass over to the Middle East, hunt down that devil Osama and bring him back to the US. Then I would put his stupid ass on a platform in the middle of town square and allow friends and family of the lost souls in the 911 events seek revenge. If this is wrong in your eyes, I'm sorry! But I WILL NEVER FORGET THE TRAGEDY THAT UNFOLDED BEFORE OUR EYES ON SEPT 11TH! NEVER!!! And Osama deserves the harshest punishment!!!

2) Any freak whom ever touches or harms innocent children would be put in a tiny room, toothpicks holding their eyes open to watch Richard Simmons "Sweating to the Oldies" NAKED! If by chance that doesn't work, then I would do "Yoga Booty Ballet" NAKED! Trust me, this is far worse then frying their asses!!!! And in the case of raping a child, I would have Michael Jackson cut off their weiners and shove it down their throat! There is no tolerance for child abuse/molestation/murder!!!!!

3) I would declare 1 day a month "National Womens Day" as a holiday and all women would be forced to leave the house and hang with their friends!

4) Animal cruelty would result in me using a gun that is big enough to blow the nuts off of the Jolly Green Giant and shoot the offender in the foot!!!!

5) This would be considered a food group!!!!!


Mike Golch said...

Krissy,I'm with you 1,000% on what to do with bin ladin!and better yet super glue their eyes open to watch richard simmons.
Yeh I know it is a little extreme but what the heck,what's right is rightbut michael jackson,I'd go with a Hannibal Lecture my self.

Amy said...

You've got my vote!

sdiver said...

Honey that day has come when I get to tell some funny stuff. That is correct I started my blog... HA HA. I hope that you will help me with getting up to speed. Love ya.. Don't get to excited though I don't know if I can live up to what you have started.

Nickie said...

Ninjas are cool and make me laugh. Will you wear the black costume with the mask? hee, hee, hee

Around The Funny Farm said...

Happy Valentine's Day! I am baking a Valentine's Day cake for my gang!

Stop by and read my V.D. story whenever you get back to the computer! post today.. proves I am a princess... totally "Farm Diva"... look closely at me in the first photo.... **much laughter**

:-) Beth

Kathryn said...

Why aren't you running for prez? I would vote for you in a heartbeat!!!!!

Sandy C. said...

I'd like to vote "yes" to ALL! Can I take the ninja classes too ;)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Huckdoll said...

You? Fabulous! You just keep getting better...Krissy for President!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

So....are you an official candidate?

I have seen "Sweating to the Oldies" and it is a scary, scary thing!