Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I'm a killing machine!!!

Today is a sad, sad day!

A bunny, a defensless little bunny, decided to committ suicide today! And the little rascal decided that the car in front of me wasn't worthy of destroying it.....nope.....it decided that I was! This my friends, is not a something I want to be worthy at!

I was taking Diva to school. We were jamming to some Hannah Montana. Life was all good! Diva didn't give me the usual morning shake down! You know, the "I don't want to wear that...it feels funny" or the "mom.....I don't like those jeans!". Hubby wasn't tormenting me today. He had a meeting and had to go so screwing with me wasn't in the cards today! The dogs didn't go outside and bark for 40min while I stood at the top of the stairs threatening their lives or bribbing them with treats. They did their business and remarkabley trotted their happy but frozen rear ends back inside! I was in la-la land today! I was able to make the beds without fighting with anyone, I was able to clean up the breakfast chaos without screaming at anyone! Pure morning bliss I tell ya!

Then just like that, I kill a bunny! Diva was mortified at first! I tried to hit the breaks, but the little thing was determined!
"MOM! Did you just run over that bunny????"

I quickly analyze the situation! I could see in my rear view mirror that the bunny just met it's maker, and I didn't by the Grace of God miss the poor thing!!! If I told Diva the truth, it would cause pure havoc in our blissful day. And she has a huge science test today! She would most certainly not be thinking of the Periodic Table but instead she would be consumed with grief! So, I did what any rational parent would do! I lied!

"No Diva, that was a hunk of ice that I just ran over! The bunny made it to the other side of the road!!!"

Diva is a smart one! Dang it! Why does she have to be so smart! She felt the car go "bump, bump!"

"Mom, I think you killed the bunny!! Swear that you didn't just kill a BUNNY!"

I lied again! Another moment in the "Crappy Mom Moments" to write down!!1

"I swear, the bunny is fine Diva!"
*The ice block just happened to have 2 floppy ears and a cute little cottonball tail! WHhhhhaaaa!

I hate killing animals! I have been known to swerve at other vehicles just to save a poor squirrel with nuts in it's mouth! I put my life in danger to save those little rodents! I am a lover, not a hater! Okay, sometimes! But regardless....I love animals. Have you seen those pedigree commercials where the little dog is looking through the cage hoping to get adopted. Well, that commercial makes me roll tears big time! We've already established that I am a lack-of-hormonal-anxiety ridden-panic attack-ticking time bomb! When it comes to children and animals....I'm overly passionate!!! So, killing a bunny makes me double up on the meds!!!!

So, this bunny isn't going to be hopping down any bunny trails. It isn't going to do the bunny hop any longer. No more Easter eggs, no more twitching it's cute little nose! Nothing! It's in egg heaven now! R.I.P little bunny!!!
Guess what??? I know how to hyperlink now!

"Old McKrissy had a blog, eeeeiiiiieeeeiiiioooooo

And on this blog she had a hyperlink! EEEeeeeiiiiiiieeeeeeiiiiiiioooooo!

With a hyperlink here (momisodes) and a hyperlink there (Jess)


Oh you just wait! If I wasn't grieving I would so have all my new friends hyperlinked! Give me time sweet things! And....I'm working on a blog roll!

Thank you Jess, you ROCK!

And, I was invited to a new wife blog. It's a private one but if you want to join with us, you are welcome. It's great and "sex" is a very hot topic right now! I sorta, kinda wish that they would talk about emotional issues and disasterous women like myself....
I don't like to be alone!!!!! So let me know if you want me to invite you! I don't want to invite people who don't wish to attend so let's just do it the easy way. If you want to join the group, leave me a comment or send an email!


A Buns Life said...

Let me in! I'm all about the sex talk....and maybe we can steer them to the emotional stuff. :)

OHmommy said...

You didn't? You killed a bunny? LOL....

jess said...

i'd love to join..

jess said...

hi it's me again! YOU GOT THE HYPERLINKS TO WORK!!!

i'm sooo proud!!!


Amy said...

Poor, Poor bunny. Maybe he had cancer, and it was a mercy killing.

What? It could happen.

Laura said...

Diva did not buy the chunk of ice story,eh?

thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a question for my 100th post!

Love your blog! cannot wait to read more!

Smitty76 said...

Oh, the poor little bunny!! This reminds me of when I killed a squirrel when I was 16, and I thought at first it was a kitten. I jumped out of the car in the middle or a rain storm, sobbing hystercially but unable to go look so I called my parents, still crying my eyes out...and they came. It turned out to be a white-ish squirrel. I only felt mildly better that it wasn't someone's itty bitty kitty!

tattooed mama said...

did you hear the squirrel tails in the dash story on sunday? ...kind of reminds me of that!

Amy said...

Oh I would have lied too! I've decided I can't swerve anymore. I've almost killed the girls while trying to save a squirrel. Somehow, that just doesn't seem right!

Mike Golch said...

It is all about a choise you cannot swerve to save a bunnie ect..especially if it puys you or your children in danger,and Yes I would have lied about killikg one of God's creations.I had a clint when I was a realtor we were going to look at a home when a racoon plodded into the road I had no choise but to hit it,and I said sorry lord for doing that.My client said if you would have swerved one of two things would have happened a head on clolision or off the road into the ditch either way we would have been injured,so you did the right thing,it does not mean I was happy about it.

The MomBabe said...

in high school we used to run over pigeons on purpose....

Lisa said...

Am cracking up over your blog!

Dogs pooping condoms. The ether bunny. Ahahahahaha.

As for the sex talk. I wish I could join you. Let's put it this way... I rarely need to make an excuse as to why I don't want sex. (As in maybe 4 times in almost 9 years of marriage.) Hubby is stingy with his time, affections AND his pecker. Lucky me, huh?

Grandy said...

I know it sucks to kill an animal, but with the weather you've been facing lady, I'm glad you didn't swerve to avoid it and end up hurting yourself!! You and Diva are WAY more important!! ;)

Huckdoll said...

You are so not a killing machine, girl! Geez.

That said, I remember my ex running over a squirrel and I was horrified. He was horrified. It's horrible running over anything. The "bump, bump" is something you just can't erase!

Kathryn said...

I'm so sorry. I know just how you feel. It is awful.
About 8 years ago I was taking my car in to the shop to get it fixed after a drive did a hit-and-run on me, and on the way there a DOG ran out into the street and I hit it and killed it. A DOG! I hit a DOG!!! Can you freaking believe it????
It was a really busy country highway and I couldn't slam on the breaks because there were too many cars. I was first able to pull off the road at the auto shop half a block away. I was too traumatized to go back so I asked one of the mechanics to please go back and talk to the owner. I just BAWLED. It was horrible!!!
And you know what else? The dog caused $3000 more in damage to my car. Completely moved the front bumper of my car half a foot over.
I still have nightmares about that dog every once and a while. :(

Nickie said...

Sign me up and let's get to it. I'm all about the talk! Poor Little Bunny Foo-Foo, it happens and there are definately reasons at times to lie to the little ones.

Kathryn said...

You are sassy, laughing at my pain.
It was a gorgeous dog. A boxer. The mechanic thought I must have hit a cow to cause that much damage. Poor dog.
My hubby is always worried I am going to drive off the road to avoid squirrels and bunnies, and then I have to say, "Hello? I KILLED a dog, remember??? I won't kill my whole family for a squirrel!".
By the way, I've added you to my blogroll. You crack me up!

Sandy C. said...

OMG! Its probably best you didn't swerve, that usually doesn't work out well for the humans.

Thank you for the linky love!!!! You are one of my fav's on my blogroll ;)