Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Me, Me, Me's

I've been tagged! My little Smitty tagged and it seems pretty easy for a women with snot crusted into her nose and ears seeping puss (that's what you get when I'm sick!) Details ladies and gent...details!!!

Ready?? Okay! (channelling my old cheerleading days!)



You must post the rules before you give your answers. You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name. Each fact must begin with that letter. If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name. After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers. At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details).

My middle name is Beth! It's not my favorite name but it was better then the alternative (Yolanda Betty!!! Ack!)

Being silly and acting like a dweeb is my fortay!

Eating junk food is my downfall!

Thankful for my friends whom allow me to stay silly!

Holly is my sister's name!

So, that was simple enough! I'm tagging my fellow Packer fan Kathryn at Seeking Sanity! Good luck Kathryn!!!!

And then just when you thought it couldn't be any better (yeah right! Stop shaking your head at me people!) I was emailed a meme! Because blogging is more important then emailing...I give to you my Top 10 Things!!!

1) My favortie movies are "Benchwarmers", "Duece Bigalow", and "Wild Hogs" and "Goonies"....can't forget the goonies...I love Chunk!!!!

2) My favorite color is baby blue! Well more like the slate blue! Especially when I put it with brown! Purdy!!!

3) I was going to name Diva Kadence or Brylee but chose a name that was different and beautiful! I get a lot of complaiments off of her name! I'm a Cool Chick!

4) My favorite thing to do is going to the movies. It relaxes this stressed out freaky girl! Well, the movie and the oversized tub of popcorn and fountain diet coke! *mouth watering*

5) I once peed my pants while driving down the interstate (prego with kidney problems...okay!). I had a shower to attend at a bar and because I was in a dress (that was hiked up to my thighs b/c it was not a maternity dress and I was in denial but couldn't sit in my car without it being hiked up! So, the dress was in the safe zone!) so I just peeled off the wet panties (prego panties!) and threw them out the window while doing 70mph. I pity the fool behind me! Anyway, at the party, my good friend but very evil friend thought it to be a good idea to lift up my dress and show off my expanding belly! Not good when you are not wearing your panties!

6) A week after that incident I was at work and had to go pee. I only had a minute before a meeting so I ran in at mock speed, did my thing and instead of wasting time washing my hands I just grabbed my nifty purell. I didn't check the mirror. I walked all the way back to through a bunch of people until an older lady whispered "Honey, your dress is tucked into your undies and you have a wedgie!" I screamed obsentities and pulled the dress out of my under-roo's and then picked out the huge wedgie. Everyone was in tears laughing at me! Suckers!

7) After I woke up from my last surgery (hysterectomy) I swore to God I had to poop! I was crying because of the extreme pain but was yelling very, very loudly that "I have to POOP!". I hadn't opened my eyes yet. The nurses were explaining to me that it sometimes feels like you have to poop but you really don't. And the cathater could be adding pressure to my bowels. I insisted I was going to poop the bed. Finally, I woke up enough to realize that the nurses voice was a male. I opened my eyes in time to see that he was very, very cute, laughing (at me no doubt) and placing a bed pan under my ass! I quickly told him I was fine and I didn't need that. Then he took the oxygen off of my nose b/c I was having an allergic reaction to it that made my nose itch. As he was taking it off I sneezed and blew snot all over his hand. Then I just covered my head under the blankets and cried!

8) I walked in on a robbery one time. I was tired from working 15hrs and just wanted a Mountain Dew to wake me up as I was on my way to another job! It was cold and the parking lot was deserted except for a lone man putting on a ski mask (to go into the store.....this should have been a clue). I proceeded to walk in and there he stood with a gun! He put the gun to my temple and told me to lay down. I told him "NO"! He screamed at me and I layed down. As he was running out the door he turned around to stare at me and gave me kissy lips. I stood up and ran as fast as my stubby little legs could!

9) I lost the top to my bathing suit so many times it's hard to remember them all! Or...if the bikini top didn't come off my big ole milk jug would just pop out! Kids are usually scared shitless when this happens and adults usually snicker at me!

10) My mom was stalked when I was younger. My dad was a firefighter and worked 24hrs/off 48hrs. It only happened when he worked. When he was gone, my mom would make us sleep with her and we slept next to a shot gun. When he would break in...my mom would lock us in the closet and then go searching for him. She shot the gun numerous times but never shot him. We even had alarms on our house and the bastard still got in! His intentions were to rape and kill all of us.....courtesy of a letter he wrote to us! He was a ghost and never got caught! Neighbors would stay up all night with a gun waiting for him and somehow that jerk still managed to make it in! He finally stopped stalking after our gay neighbor ladies chased his ass up a hill with a pistol. He never returned! This is primarily why I have guns in my house and large dogs that wouldn't think twice about killing someone that hurt me or Diva. Don't worry though, Diva is very, very educated on guns and the guns are safely stored and hidden. But I could get to in in a second if need be!!!

There you go! A little more about Firecracker!

11 comments:

A Buns Life said...

OMG, you just always crack me up!!

Kathryn said...

Holy crap, woman! You have quite the stories. Sheesh! Walked in on a robbery, had a stalker break in to your house numerous times, peed your pants, lost your top, snotted on a hot male nurse. Man o man!!!!
I've just decided that the meme I did for today is sooooo boring compared to yours. :(

Thanks for the tag. As I wrote above, I just did some memes today so I'll wait a bit before doing this one, if that is ok. I'll will do it though. :)

Sandy C. said...

oh. my. hell! Ever thought of writing for CSI shows? Da-yum! I nearly peed my pants reading about the stalker!

Amy said...

Have I told you before you're crazy?!?! Love ya!

noble pig said...

OMG, 'WHEN" not "if" he got in. Holy crap, that has me scared crapless. You poor thing, sheesh! I'm going to have some wine for you!

The MomBabe said...

CRAZY! And hasn't every pregnant woman peed her pants???

Nickie said...

You memes are proof enough that one can overcome a lot of crapola with humor and allowing their inner child to run free! So, keep yours running baby!!

LunaNik said...

I cannot believe you actually threw the wet panties out the window. That is AWESOME!

I want to be you when I grow up.

Brittany said...

Holy cow. I've never read such stories... and that's your life?! WOW! I think I liked the pee your pants while prego story, the best! And The one about the stalker is most certainly the scariest!!! Ah!

I agree with Sandy, write for CSI!

Huckdoll said...

OMG, Krissy. You are nothing short of FASCINATING! I loved that. I will go back and read that 6 times.

Grandy said...

OMG...my middle name is Antoinette...I'd be hosed with this one. ;)