Friday, February 15, 2008

I'm a CRAB!

You know you crabby when:

1) You are watching a episode of "Full House" and D.J. and Kimmy totally screw up Jessies music when they go in and record over it with their version of "Locomotion" after then knew to not mess with his stuff and all you can think is "I would have grounded them for life and put them over my knee!" (note: I have never put Diva over my knee but today......I would have!)

2) The neighbors dog would not stop barking and it was causing your gigantic headache to retaliate by playing drums in your head. I went on a search for the b.b. gun!!! (note: I have never shot an animal with a b.b. gun but if I would have found it today the dog would have been shitting b.b.'s)

3) I totally go postal on a WalMart worker who had the misfortune of answering my call today b/c they just had a very irritating voice!!!! (note: I have freaked out on WalMart workers before but not because of their whiny voice!)

4) My hubby comes out of the bedroom after I have been awake since 5:30am and asks if I am still sick and I want to jump up and smack him b/c "Duh, of course I am still sick!" (note: ummmm...yeah, I've freaked out on him like this before! Sorry hun!!)

5) My cell phone has a text message and I want to throw the phone into the fireplace b/c the ring is a ridiculous, annoying ring! (note: I am very hard on cell phones! I have thrown my phone before!)

6) Urkel on "Family Matters" needs to be beat bloody!!!!! (note: I don't know any Urkels so everyone is safe.....for NOW!"

7) The home phone rings and it's my equally sick father and yet I answer the phone like this "What!!!!" and then proceed to tell him that "I am way sicker then you and my head hurts much more then yours so buck up dad!!! You'll be fine!" (note: my dad is my best friend and he told me to shut up and stop being so damn crabby today!)

8) The dog is snoring and it is causing distress to my headache again so you muscle up enough energy to stand up and kick the dog awake! (note: I don't ever kick my dogs and it was more of a "wake up" nudge but the dog was pissed anyway and grumbled at me!)

9) My hubby, whom usually calls me 10X's a day, won't call me today! (note: I don't blame him!)

10) The garbage truck outside is making too much noise and I envision myself throwing hot coffee in his face! (note: I won't do this because the garbage man is a scary man and could snap me like a twig!)

11) You want to stomp on the computer b/c spell check still doesn't work on blogspot! (note: Yeah, I would totally stomp on the computer today and I'm also considering yelling at all my elementary teachers b/c they didn't teach me to spell good enough!)

Yep, I'm having a crappy, sucky, no-good, piss on me day!!!!!!!!! Diva is going to a friends which for her sake, is a good thing! Diva is still sleeping right now, which is also a good thing!!!! I better up the dosage today! And I'm also going to down a entire bottle of Excedrin Migraine b/c Funky Mama and anglophile Football fanatic told me to try it!

10 comments:

Mama Zen said...

If you find an Urkel to beat bloody, I'll help!

Hope you feel better soon!

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

OH I hope today gets better!

Shitting b.b.'s...snort! ;)

Smitty76 said...

Ooh, headaches are the WORST! I hope you feel better soon.

Kathryn said...

Oh shit. Now I REALLY feel badly that you didn't win the giveaway. I'm sorry.
And me saying that probably doesn't help, does it? Do you want to pour hot coffee in my face? Cuz I'd let you if it would help you to stop being such a cranky biotch! ;) he he
Feel better sweatheart!!!

LunaNik said...

The only cure for a crab-ass day is a valium and a glass of wine...

Or...

a joint...

take your pick!

Nickie said...

Effing headaches and migraines are the worst. I really hope that you feel better as I'm ready to come out tonight and celebrate for Lynard. Ex-Migraine is pretty good, add a warm coke for the tummy queasies.

jes said...

oh....feel better soon..

dawn224 said...

throwing phones is therapy, I fully support that.

Amy said...

Yeah, I'm thinking something a little stronger than Excedrin...
Hope you get to feeling better soon girl! You are having it rough!

Grandy said...

Oooohhh dear...at least you can recognize the venom and laugh about it later. That's a great quality. Oh...and when you have a headache like that WHY are you even watching Full House or Urkel?? They ARE annoying and could only make it worse!!