5) "I'm constipated! I haven't pooped for days! But we can try it if you want!"
4) "I've got diarreah! It's really loose stools and I'm puckering to keep it in!"
3) "My hemroids are flaring! I think they may be bleeding!"
2) "Um, Aunt Flo is visiting and she is making some waves!"
and the number one best way to get out of sex!
Drum roll please (ddddddddddddllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmaaaa!)
1) "I'm baking bread down there! I have a serious yeast infection honey!"
This will clamp the chastity belt on tighter then my spanx fit on my ass!!!!
Yeah baby!!! Women rule!
Now...this is just plain old stupid!!
And this just cracks my ass up!!!! Hardy, Harr, harr!
Alright, not to get too gross or anything but ummmm.....yeah! My dog Vampers kinda sorta ate from the garbage one time and ummmmm.....yeah......she was shitting balloons the next day! Totally embarrassing considering the neighbor saw it all! Ack!!!!! On my defense, at least I was making sure I didn't get prego (knowing my body wouldn't like that much) and I did dispose of them properly AND we have had to put all garbages under sinks as both my demons eat out of the garbage! Kleenex, toliet paper etc! So, there! Leave me alone!!!
Poor Poochie! How sad!!!
And if my insanity troubles you.....I'm truly sorry (I think I'm losing some blog friends here, *sigh* But I still have my non-blogger friends to back me up! Love you babes!)! But, it's me and it will always be me! So.........sorry!!!! And well.....spell check still sucks monkey butt and I know that there is a hyperlink button but it just adds the whole website link! Not like putting a name like Krissy and then you can just click "Krissy" and it takes you too the website. Okay, see.....I really am a computer retard!!! I wish I was smarter then my coffee table!!! :-(