Sunday, January 27, 2008

One of THOSE days......

Ugh.....really...the only way to describe today is Ugh.....

Diva has been in one of "those" moods that make me want to either lock her in her room or lock myself into a padded white room! You see....she had a friend stay over. The night before, she spent the night at a different friends house. So, considering that last night she went to bed at 11:30pm and of course they just had to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn (They actually woke the roosters up at 6am!!!!) she is a wee bit crabby! This morning wasn't that bad, as her friend entertained her enough to not whine! But after the friend went home.....the "whine, whine, whine" "blah, blah, blah" started! We went to a friends house to play Guitar Hero! Diva tried it but of course didn't master it the very first time she ever played the cotton-picking thing! "Whine, Whine, Whine"......"I can't do it.....I suck at everything!"..........Meanwhile, I'm covering my ears humming to myself trying to ignore her so I don't freak out and act like a maniac mother!!!

Next, we go out to eat! Oh my Gosh....Did you know that adding one simple WRONG ingredient to my daughters nachos means that all is wrong with the world and her life is sooooooo terrible and "Nothing EVER goes right for me!"..........Now I'm rocking back and forth covering my ears humming loudly so every person in Chili's doesn't see me lose control prompting them to call child welfare on me!!!

Then we get home.....and a simple task like ohhhh....I don't know.....taking a shower is the hardest job in the universe for a kid to do!!! Did you know that???? Taking a shower, something she has done at least 4days a week for the last 7yrs is now all of a sudden the most insane thing a mother could ask of a kid!! "Whine, Whine, Whine"......This time I yell....but just a little bit :-)

Then she steps on a thumbtack b/c she has to hang posters on the ceiling and NEVER......NEVER picks up her mess! Currently she is babbling about how P.E. tomorrow is nearly going to be impossible and NOW she's not going to be able to walk so "What am I supposed to do tomorrow??? Huh MOOOOMMM?? What am I supposed to do???" Yesterday, I stepped on a tack as well and after using some not-so-appropriate uses of language Diva laughed her fool butt off and thought that my throbbing foot was hilarious!!!

My foot bled....Her foot did not! Her foot barely had a mark and MINE had a very visible bleeding, gaping wound!!!

Not that it matters!

Homework time: Oh God......NO...Please NOT Homework!!! Shit.....and it's MATH! Oh, wait.....I suck at math and hubby does NOT so I don't have to help with homework tonight.....I'm playing "Jessica Simpson" kind of stupid so I don't have to help! Woo-Hoo!

Now it's time to read....something she can do all by herself. She of course wants to play Webkinz! "But MOOOOMMMM! I read while playing Webkinz!".......okay, there are no witnesses around except for hubby and I convince him to become an alibi soooooo! Nope....MUST-STAY-STRONG!!!!! Yoga Breath!!!! Think Happy thoughts!

Then, as if God himself lead my eyes to the clock....I notice that I have 15min. before I can logically put her to bed!!!!!! I'm weeping now! I'm just so darn happy!
I need a drink!!!

I love my daughter....I truly do however.....I get frightened when I think about her teenage years!
I need a laugh and I'm going to share it with you!


Amy said...

Oh I feel your pain, times 4! Seriously I think I am adding a padded room onto the house. Or a bar. Can't decide.

Sandy C. said...

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I can relate with a terribly 2-yr old girl who whines like its going out of style...hope you get a chance to kick back and relax in peace tonight...

amanda said...

Love the air guitar pick. Also, I laughed so hard I peed a little when I read on the side about your theory that the belly button is a closed hole to hell. hahahhaha. seriously, you are hilarious.

Sleeping Mommy said...

YOU are scaring me. I can barely deal with my 4 year old girl's drama.

By the way, I have something for you at my blog

Huckdoll said...

Oh. My. Gawd. And I have this x 2 to look forward to one day. I'm scared. I might just enjoy the toddler years a bit more now!

PS. You're in my blogroll girl!

girlymom said...

Oh it sounds like she's living up to her diva name!! Get some sleep and put some shoes on!:)