Thursday, January 24, 2008

Ode to Old Man Winter!!!

Listen hear Mr. Winter....your pissing me off Old Man! Haven't we had enough??? Isn't it bad enough that my nostrils freeze shut after stepping out into the brisk cold or must you add a big fat layer of snow and ice to keep it interesting? My fingers are purple, my eyelashes have broken off, even the hair on my legs stays hidden (which is a nice break from shaving) however, I cannot stand my toes going past the point of "cold" to "My toes fricking hurt!".

Do you think I enjoy wrapping my child up in layers upon layers every single day, adding at least 2 hours to our routine? Do you think I love mopping up the melted mess on my floor everyday or that I enjoy playing hide and seek with a mitten??? You are a "cold-hearted" ole' fool! I think Mr. Summer should just kick your frigid ass!!!!

This is NOT pretty!

(Ick....Now that's Dirty Snow!!)

My ass is bruised from the numerous falls your white shit has caused! My dog's have ice hanging off their butts, my child looks like Ruldolf! I'm forced to wear 10lbs more clothing which only makes me look fatter and are so not posh! My electricity bill doubles and my temper triples from being holed up in my house all day!

Please, for the Love of Disney, Give me a break!

(Well, that sort of break would work nicely for me too! )

The best piece of English literature I've seen in quite a while....

A poem by:
Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

Ahem. Ahem.(clears throat!)




OHmommy said...

"I'm forced to wear 10lbs more clothing which only makes me look fatter and are so not posh."

Oh, I so just said that yesterday to my husband. LOL.

Im taking today off. I am the editor of a 20 pages monthly newsletter and working on that for the next three days. See you Monday!!!

OHmommy said...

M'kay firecracker. I caved in and posted today. I do not do well under pressure.

Now, I have to edit a newsletter and respond to 40+ comments tonight.

Many thanks!!! The husband will be lonely yet again.

Smitty76 said...

Amen, sistah! I'm not quite ready for SUMMER yet but I'll gladly take Spring. :-)

Grandy said...


FUN-ky Mama said...

You should come visit me!
Cyndy from Florida

Sandy C. said...

Amen to that! As a native Floridian moved to Massachusetts, I HATE WINTER! Being couped upside is awful and is making me batty too :(

Thanks for stopping over at Momisodes, you're hilarious! Love your blog :)

girlymom said...

Ya know the only thing I like about wearing a jakcet...I can put in on over whatever pjs I am still sporting and pick up the kids at school...any nobody knows!

Mike Golch said...

Old man winter does suck! the dirty snow pic wellllllll.
I love the cartoonwhere the guy literally froze his ass off.