Thursday, January 17, 2008

I have been missing my favorite bra....I have mourned the loss of this bra for awhile now as it was the only bra that truly fits me! Every girl needs a bra that makes her comfortable, lifts the girls to their rightful place without leaving permanent indentations in the shoulders. I even put up "missing" signs and offered rewards.

However, I found by bra.......I was elated when I was called. Some dear sweet person felt that I should have my boulder holder back! He even took a picture!

Whew.....I'm just glad it didn't hurt some poor soul!! This did leave me in a predicament though as I had to call the cranes in to put it back on! Sooooo embarrassing!

Here's a good tip and this only proves my theory that men LOVVVVEEEE! sex! They need it, they crave it, they dream about it! Everything looks like a nipple to them.

(I always look at the clouds and try to see shapes in it. This is something me and Diva do often. Craig rarely joins in, and this is why!)

Me: "Oh look at that cloud honey, doesn't it look like a teddy bear?"
Him: "No, it looks like a giant boob with a gigantic nipple!"

(We walked downtown Sioux Falls one time and there are a number of art pieces to browse while down there.)
Me: "Wow, that sculpture is odd looking, I wonder what the significance to it means?"
Him: "The sculptor was horny, obviously that's to people have sex!"

(note: this is not my hubby but it very well could be!)

So, that could be your tip for the day: Make your man happy by being naked with a pot roast in hand! I bet he hands you the Credit Card and tells you to go buy what you want! LOL!

On a funny Diva note: One of my lovely dogs decided that they had to go #2 in the middle of the night so they found their spot at the bottom of the basement stairs. Thank God it's not carpeted down there! Not only did they drop their waste but they had to pee something fierce too. So, at the bottom of my stairs was a pile of steaming poo and some pee to go with it. Nice! Now do you think my EMT husband who can help people who vomit, mess themselves, have blood streaking down their face, gashes in their arms, etc. could clean up the filthy mess. NOOOO! Instead he gags and runs to the bathroom. His response was "It's a job when I'm on an EMT call, this isn't a 911 moment!". Gee...that makes perfect sense, right! So, I roll my eyes at him and then focus my attention on Diva, whom is standing at the top of the stairs laughing hysterically. So, I inform her that since it was her dog (Scooby, who was hunkered down in a corner looking mighty guilty) to get some towels and clean up the mess. She suddenly turns white and looks like she's about to cry. Okay, if you knew my daughter, poop and farts fascinate this child and her dream job is a proctologist. You would think that this would be up her alley. Nope, she breaks out the whines and begs and pleads with me to do it for her. After a few lectures and some nice (or not so nice) words to the pooch, I stomp my ass down the stairs to clean up a mound of poop and a lake of pee. I was pissy pants the rest of the day! I even threatened to kick the dog outside forever (which I would never do). Heres the culprit of this exciting event:
BAD, BAD Scooby Doo!
Don't forget to smile today! It's a good day (even though it's -20* here in the frozen tundra).


Nickie said...

You ain't kidding--damn animals and those of us who can't live without 'em. Sorry to hear about your backdoor blues (and your dog's too!) As a sidenote--Sex rules and those of us willing to talk openly about it are the true goddesses in this world!

krissy said...

I love you are my gal. Can I interview you???? Seriously!

Lynard said...

And this is why I love you!! You are truly a fantastic girl who makes me laugh every day!!! No, I am not just saying that to make you feel good. Now, about the sex and orgasams....what is an orgasam?

Anonymous said...

I found your blog and I think you are hilarious! Keep it up....I'm coming back for more!

Anonymous said...

Hey it's ANG! HOLY CRAP!! What's up with the bra losing thing? How did you lose it cuz I lost mine too but it was found later......someone tripped over it. They thought they found a precious gem but then realized it was two bandaids stuck together....yeah so what! that's all I need! Itty Bitty Titty's love sex too!

Nickie said...

Bring on the interview baby! I truly am interesting behind all the quiet contemplation and psychobabble!!!!