Good Gracious oh mighty......
I'm burping fire and I feel like my guts are so gaseous that I might explode. I'm like a ticking time bomb.
Ya see.....besides mental instabilities, forgetfulness, chronic fatigue and physical pain....I have digestive issues too. If you are confused, let me break it down for you.....I can't drop a load.
Can't do it...I've tried everything from mineral oil, enemas (shuddering), stool softeners, colon cleanse, sitting on the porcelain bowl breathing in and out, crying, praying, laxatives. Oh God the laxatives.....makes you feel like you are trying to shit a saw blade. The cramps are like I'm birthing an elephant.
And then I get crabby. And then I just walk around in circles because sitting is painful, moving is painful, laughing is painful, crying is painful. So, I just walk around trying to figure out what feels better.
And then I get muscle pains and feel like I've got the flu. But it isn't the flu. It's Fibromylgia. It's a part of me now. And I am feeling like I am beat up! More beat up then a lonely man's peter. Yeah, it's that bad.
And I know people are sick of me crying, whining and bitching. But I don't want to be the whiner. But I can't help it so your stuck with me.
I'm burping farts now.....not kidding. Serious indigestion. Holy Hell, what next. And when I am finally able to drop the kids off at the pool, it will feel like I am shitting a cactus out of my ass.
You won't be able to recover from this post. Ever. I apologize for your disturbing thoughts. But at least you aren't the one that smells like you just sucked a fart out of a cows ass. It could be worse. I'm not too optimistic right now so I cannot think of any thing that would be worse right now..........
Maybe my husband telling he can help (put your minds in the gutter to translate his proposal!)