Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm making Hallmark Cards:

1:

I thought you were a friend
And now that your not
maybe I can say
I hope all of your teeth rot!

2.

Starting rumors about me
makes you an ass
maybe you should light yourself on fire
and give it some gas!

3.

So your having an affair
and you blame it on me
so I'm going to lift up my leg
and pee on you like you were a tree.
(to the freaks that say I started the rumor of the f'ing)

4.

So you are a pre teen
and mouthy as hell
I just hope that you know
I'm reserving a room in jail.

That's it for now. I'm pretty sure they won't buy any of my cards. Mouthy daughter, crappy people.....it's a wonderful day.

Maybe I should just shoot myself in the foot. That would make for a better day. Or stick a hot poker up my butt. I could be optimistic and be happy I didn't have twins! Double mouthiness would send me over the edge.

Well, I'm gonna go get a bikini wax now because why not, I already feel like I got kicked at the "Y." And then I'll remove the knife out of my back.

Happy shitting fucking crappy ass son of a bitch dick Wednesday.
I won't be visiting many blogs today because I am in a fowl mood. I bet you couldn't tell.....

P.S. If you wish to buy one of these cards, they are on sale for $450,000. Yeah that's right. It's a bargain.

8 comments:

mjgolch said...

I have one thos kind of years as a corrections officer. try dealing with a bunch of co-workers suffereing the terrible two every day. if that would not have you in a foul mood I do not know what else would.
Hugs and Blessings my friend.
I hope thay have a better day! mike golch said that!

A Buns Life said...

Sooooo, you didn't have a good Birthday I take it?

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

Show me the love was one of your past blogs. I'm sure being a good mom/wife/friend in titles people to take advantage of your good nature. I think it was your or is your Birthday HAPPY 34 years of being a women. Hugs my friend I hope you have a better one.


By the way clever card!!!

Kathryn said...

Oh dear. So, then, you're NOT having a good day today? Hmm. I never would have guessed.
Poor woman. But at least you still have your sense of humor, right?
You crack me the frig up! Especially the:
"Happy shitting fucking crappy ass son of a bitch dick Wednesday." Can I use that someday? I think THAT is the one you should make into a card. I would DEFINITELY buy it. I'M NOT KIDDING! You could make one for everyday of the week. DO IT! Seriously!!!!! You would make a fortune!!!!!
You rock sista!
I hope your day gets better! :)

sltbee69 said...

Yes, I can tell someone pissed in your corn flakes. I'm sorry. I hope it wasn't on your birthday because . . how dare they! I like those kind of hallmark cards. Have you ever checked out someecards.com? If you haven't, you should. (((HUGS)))

Brittany said...

Hmphh. :(

Kel said...

Even in your crappy mood I think your funny! Sorry it's such a shitty day...but if you'd come down in price I might buy #2!
:)
~K

Immoral Matriarch said...

I think those prices are a DEAL.