Saturday, March 1, 2008

Don't read if you don't want sex talk today!

You asked.....I'll answer!

Q: First question is from Nissa...a super dooper girl!

What's your favorite position?

I would love to give you girls some dirty little position that I find the most interesting but I'm sad to report my favorite position is stationary! I hate to dissappoint however, I have tried every position out there thanks to my PartyGals Guide to Great Sex Book and I still favor the staionary position! Not that the others were something to whine about though! :-)

2) Who has had the most impact on your life?

My parents, hands down! They gave me tools in life that keep me somewhat sane. I learned to laugh through struggles and smile when I want to frown. These are so useful to me! They also taught me that we all screw up more then once and we all have our skeletons in the closet! I'm not embarressed about my skeletons though! I hope that others learn from my "f"-ups and don't care when I am judged! Quite honestly though, next to my parents God has been there for me more times then none! I have felt him lift me into his arms and craddle me when I need cradled. And then of course, my hubby, daughter and my friends and extended family! Everyone impacts my life! And each and every person has supported my silliness, craziness and sex toy parties!

Q: This comes from my little sweetie Smitty who was the first to stand up and defend me when I was getting the hate mail! I'm quite certain that this will produce some hatemail or the prudes who wish to not look at this but I don't fricking give a rat's ass!!!

1)What's your favorite sex toy?? Does it have a name? (I admit, I used to have a Mister Purple. That was the official name I gave him..uh, "it".)

Whoa, this one is a doozy! I have many, many toys! For myself I like The Lovin Spoonful! Oh my Gosh...this is a for sure orgasm! It has a button that rotates from clockwise to counterclockwise which massages the G-spot! It is amazing. Look at this little magical wand!

2) Where did you and your hubby go on your first date?

To the movie "Titantic." I cried like a baby and was really embarrassed but hubby was very understanding and sympethtic. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man! We were together from that point on!

Q: From a true bloggy friend Mama Zen: Okay, I know that my question is pretty obvious, but how did you get into selling sex toys?

Well, I was a "sex toy virgin." Before I moved up here I never heard of them. My friend hosted a party and I was very embarrassed and ashamed to go (!). So I went and had the best time ever! Then 2yrs later I had a party of my own through a different company (Partygals) and realized that she was making 50% commission by having fun and talking sex (my favorite topic!). So, I decided to sign up and it has been the best job ever! I get paid to party people! Top that!!!

Q: Well, my little friend Sandy had some serious questions! I just love her!

1) How often do you roll in the hay?

Probably about 4-5days a week! I am a sex-aholic! Sex makes me have a connection with my hubby! Just him and me! Something that we do together, and it is a very great moment for me! Plus, it feels good!

2) Have you ever thought of anyone else during sex?

Actually, no! I have never done that! I don't oppose of it though! It's a fantisy, and there's nothing wrong with that! As long as it's not all the time! You should find yourself physically attractive to your hubby! But, if you fanisize about Brad Pitt once in awhile, go ahead and pretend your Angelina Jolie too! However, you would have to imagine a handful of kids in bed with you too!

3) Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yep, I sure have! It was one of those nights where I was not in the mood and decided to just do the "Oh, Oh Baby". Problem with it is, he thought he hit the right spot and went back to it the next time. Then I had to say "no, that's not it" so try this! I try hard to not fake them anymore! I'm a fast learner!

Q: This one came in a email! So I won't mention names!

How do you find the time to have sex?

Well, I see it like this! I can take 15minutes at the most out of my day to please my hubby. And come on, lets get real here, 15min is giving most of the men credit! But by me giving it up for him, I get my wants pleased too! Mine are like going shopping, holding my hand in public, laugh with me, etc. It works itself out!

These next questions came from my very funny, very real Huckdoll.....I love my huckdoll people!

Q: If you could have dinner with one famous person (dead or alive) who would it be and why?

I love Marilyn Monroe. I actually love all those 50's, 60's and 70's stars! But I would ask Marilyn Monroe how they hell she died! I know it was the Kennedy's. I just know it!!!!! And the curse of the Kennedy's isn't so much a curse, but just a pissed off dead bitch seeking her revenge! Go Marilyn!

Q: If you had $500,000 to donate to one charity, what would it be and why?

Hands down....St. Judes! My friend had a child with an aggressive cancer. It was scary and very hard! She didn't receive treatment from St. Jude herself but St. Jude is just wonderful. Can you imagine fighting for your childs life and then struggling with the un-Godly medical bills too? St. Jude isn't like that. They take the stress of medical bills away! I would also donate to Stem Cell Research. I won't get on my soapbox today but I will add that the stem cell transplant saved my friends 3yr old daughter and gave her life! Did you know that the un-used embyos get put in red bags and trashed? Why wouldn't we save lives of so many cancer patients, metobolic disorders, spinal cord injuries etc? Why not save lives instead of throwing them in the dumpster? I think everyone needs to do some research on this!!!

Q: Why are some guys so damn ADAMANT about anal sex? I've never done it and I'm FREAKING? What is wrong with the old fashion way??? Any tips??? I can't get past anal sex being somewhat gay, you know??

Because it is the unknown and it is raunchy and that is what men want. Raunchy, dirty sex! I told my hubby "Hell NO to that Hole" from the very beginning! Some women enjoy it and obviously gay men enjoy it too! It's a personal decision! But my poop chute has a blade in it and if anything tries to enter, they pull out a bloody nub!!! Men are stupid too and will continue to beg! In this case, go out and buy the biggest probe and simply say "You first!" He shouldn't ask again!!!

Another email!

Q: It hurts to have sex sometimes!

Lube it up girl! Women should always lube! Otherwise, it will eventually over time start to hurt like hell to have sex! No, don't lube it up with Lard, okay! But Partygals has a nice selection of some great lubes. And if it still hurts, you could quite possibly have a yeast infection or some issues there! Go see a doc at this point!

Kyle, my sweet little friend Kyle, asked

Q: What the F? Thats all I got.

Kyle, hunny, sweetie! I know you know what "F" is......I know all your dirty secrets.......*insert witch cackle here! Be afraid Kyle, be very afraid! BTW....hope your not missing us partygoers too much! We miss you!!! :-)

And lastly my soul "bloggy" sister Kathryn had a question!

Q: What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to your DURING sex?

Oh Lordy, there are so many embarrassing moments for me! Sad? I know! But the biggest one was this! (totally cannot believe I'm telling you this!)

I always have to pee before sex (if not, I pee on my hubby....yet another embarrassing moment!). So, hubby was patiently waiting while I emptied my bladder. I quickly wipe and run into the bedroom! Not to get too personal and you can fill in the blanks but after some kissing and what not my hubby said " have toliet paper stuck still!" The thing is......I didn't just pee! So the toliet paper was stuck in my crack! I'm turning red just writing this! I never jumped up so fast in my life screaming the whole way to the bathroom. I didn't have sex with my hubby that night! The mood was ruined.....obviously!!!!

Hows that for questions and answers? I bet you've never seen it done like this before. I'm sure I've lost a few bloggy friends from know the type.....prissy, snooty, too good for me kind! They need to be gone from here anyway b/c I am soo not their type!

But too the rest of you! I love you all!!!!!


FUN-ky Mama said...

love the q & a! I missed out on the questions, but I'll get ya next time. ;o)

LunaNik said...

This was great!!! Thanks so much for answering everyone's questions! I didn't ask one only because whenever someone says "Ask me a question" my mind goes blank...completely blank.

Sandy C. said...

OMG! That was the best Q & A session, ever :)

And your most embarrassing moment....I would have died!!! At least it was with hubby and not a first time with a boyfriend ;)

Thanks so much for answering my questions...loved all your replies!

Nickie said...

Good stuff!

A Buns Life said...

Sorry I was overloaded with my own Q&A session. Yours was much more entertaining.... :)

Grandy said...

Tis why I luv ya Krissy! YOU ROCK!!

Huckdoll said...

That was the juiciest, most real post I've read all day. Thanks for answering my questions! I adore your advice on the bum bum thing :D You should really start a regular column/post here with the Q&A!!

Nissa said...

I adore your honesty! I love your embarrassing moment! That's great! :)

Kathryn said...

You are awesome! That was fabulous! Thank you for answering all of those questions so honestly! Yeah you!
I LOVE St. Jude's!!!! That is my fav charity BY FAR! I have been doing fundraisers for them for almost 5 years now after I watched a 1/2 hour info-mercial for them and couldn't stop crying. Such an amazing place!
Great post lady! You are awesome!

noble pig said...

Great answers. I love visiting here.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Very enlightening!

I am giggling about the most embarassing thing....I just KNEW you would go the passing gas route! (hee-hee)

Mama Zen said...

I agree with Huckdoll. We want a regular column!

April said...

That was TOTALLY fun to read!!

jess said...

omg omg omg. you slay me.