Sunday, March 23, 2008

Guess what happens when I get tired???

1: I whine like my daughter does when I make her wear clothes that she despises (which pretty much is her entire 4 racked full of attire closet....the little shit!) I make sure that everyone in ear shot knows how tired I am and why I am so tired. I blame my lack of sleep on my hubby, my daughter, my mom, my dad, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my dogs, my in-laws, my friends, El Nino, President Bush, The Queen of England, terrorists and the hole in the ozone.

2: I get as bitchy as a redneck without beer. I bitch about all of the above plus some. My family wants to push me off the face of the earth and my hubby wants to strangle me! It's fun sometimes really.....I kinda like being ousted from my family b/c then they don't expect things from me.

3: I complain about my big fat honeysuckles (boobs for those that don't know slang!). I complain to my husband that if it wasn't for my huge knockers my back wouldn't be so sore and my feet wouldn't hurt. And all would be right in the world without a huge butt crack on my chest. Seriously, you've seen them....they don't look like boobs.....they look like a gigantic ass. And lets face it.....I already have one gigantic ass.....I don't need one below my chin too!!!

4: I blame everyone else around me for being crabby. I sit in disgust and give nasty looks to everyone around me because I cannot believe how crabby they are being. How dare them be crabby when I am tired of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, have one big fat uni-boob, and have a sore back. What a bunch of asses!!!

5: I think at this point I start to cry.....Oh man do the tears roll down my cheeks. I cry because of all above and because of an episode of "Full House!" I cry loud and the sound resembles two whales humping! It's really gross! I have snot flinging from my nostrils and I get the worst case of hiccups. Then I get a migraine and my crabbiness increases significantly.

I finally go to sleep and then wake up the next morning with a smile on my face.......and my family stares at me with fear in their eyes. Because who knows what personality will surface each day!

I love it.....absolutely love it! I love keeping people on their toes.

Keep the emails coming with your sex questions. I have a feeling that it will be a doozy.....or that could be gas....but whatever! It will be fun, nonetheless!!!

Hope you had a terrific, wonderful Easter!!!!


Grandy said...

Soooo...were you tired today? Happy Easter!! Love the pic, I cracked soon as I got it (guess I'm tired too).

noble pig said...

Oh God, I'm laughing but better a uni-boob than a uni-brow??

Ummm, that picture, I want it on a Hallmark card..I really do.

N said...

Butt crack boobs aren't all bad. They can perform certain functions that itty bitty ones can't. Of course maybe that should be a sex question for some--what can a couple do with boobs that maybe more unique than the obvious things? (hee, hee, hee) Sorry to hear that the crab monster visited you today--the wack-ass weather has my panties in a bunch.

Don Mills Diva said...

As bitchy as a redneck without beer! I am so making that an everyday expression! You always crack me up!

Kathryn said...

Yep. I'm crabby today too. Way crabby. Too tired and exhausted. Blahhhh.
Funny pic!

Brittany said...

I want boobs. Can you share?

Huckdoll said...

Hey Miss Krissy! I haven't been around forever, just catchin' up. Hope you had a nice Easter weekend!

FUN-ky Mama said...

My poor family never knows which Mommy they're getting either. You're right, it keeps them on their toes.
I LOVE that picture.

Mama Zen said...

I get exactly the same way! Well, not the boob thing. Not even close.

Sandy C. said...

I'm bummed. I have major back pain and no boobs to show for it *sobs*

This list sounds like me for a good week or so each month. But there's chocolate involved...and lots of it.