Thursday, March 13, 2008

Redneck Retards!

There's been a lot of post out there about how rude, inconsiderate crudballs make ridiculous remarks to people who are simply minding their own business.

I can be honest here, because that is what I am, honest. I have probably been one of "those" idiots before. I have ate crow more then beef! Seriously, I should have feathers sticking out of my mouth by now!

However, I can honestly say that the "want-to-be cowboys" that have probably killed off all their brain cells by sniffing John Deere diesel fuel are the crudest of all. Their pick up lines are as lame as "Can I take you to Hawaii and "Lay" you?" or "Your outfit would look better crumbled on my floor!" They think by dancing a little jig in front of your table while a good song is on is hot when in all actuality I would rather eat toenails for a snack then to look at the redneck dancing. I have considered stabbing my eyes out with a toothpick before.

And then if you do get the pleasure of talking to them and smelling their hot garbage breath, you realize that they are quite dumb, blunt, retarded or all of the above. It's like my vagina just sucked the smart right out of him. Or maybe the boobs did, it doesn't matter, because they instantly becoming mumbling morons. These yoo-hoo's are very abundant in my small town. They are quite simply, shit eaters! They really need to be publicly emasculated!

And might I add that selling sex toys in this small town spreads like an infectious disease (no punt intended).....but it's always the ones that find out that you wish didn't! The ones who want to argue with you that their pecker is much better then some "toy!" and even offer to show you! Ack!!! That makes me throw up in my mouth a little!

Anywho, the reason for this "rambling-doesn't-make-much-sense" post is that everyone of us have said a few things that made us stick our smelly feet into our mouths a time or two......I have been "that" person who asked a larger lady when her baby was due when in fact, it was just a fat roll. Yep, my face crater has caused me awkwardness before, imagine that!

But some people just need to have a muzzle because they are just too freaking dim-witted to realize their short comings!!!

That's my thoughts anyway!!!

Here's a funny picture now! Enjoy!

(Redneck Fire Extinguisher)


April said...

I TOTALLY don't see the attraction of cowboys (aka "rednecks). I know I'm one of the few, but your description sounded RIGHT ON to me! LOL

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Cute pic!

Feel free to rant as needed. These things need to be discussed!!

Hallie :)

Kathryn said...

Ew. That cartoon grosses me out.

LunaNik said...

I second Kathryn...that cartoon = gross but is also really effing funny!

Mike Golch said...

well at least a redneck is good for something.
and if this is as bad as a rant gets well than I for one will never stop visiting here,even if the rants get a lot worse.You come and visit me after some of my rants.loyalty deserves loyality.
I hope you and yous had a grear day today and an even greater on tomarrow.

amanda said...

okay, i nearly laughed until I peed when I saw the redneck fire extinguisher photo.

Grandy said...

What's scary about the truth of this is that even if all the rednecks read this, they wouldn't know it applied to them.

Pssttt...**Whispering** Married to a redneck, but gotta love him. ;)

N said...

Ha, ha, hysterical commentary about the redneck cowboys in our area. So true, but even better are the ones on the other side of the state!!! Love the cartoon!!!