Thursday, March 6, 2008

How about my 100th?!

*take a deep breath and jump right into the crazy!*

1: I have had 3 concussions in my day! Once I was hit in the head with a cement ball (don't ask), 3 weeks later the same kid that threw the cement ball the first time and knocked me out threw a baseball (not at me, I ran in front of it....don't ask) and it hit me in the same bump, and gave me a worse or another concussion.....I confused the doc!

2: I wanted my name to be Penelope when I was a kid.

3: I want my name to be Gabby now.

4: I always try to name people's children for them. Most of the time people take my suggestions!

5: Because of the concussions, sometimes one eye is dilated bigger then the other eye. It happens a lot actually and freaks people out!

6: I jumped a moving train once, drunk, in a tight black dress with high heels on and a rose in my mouth!

7: I have never broken a bone! Amazing consider I biff it at least once a week!

8: I really don't like to cook and I once burned a can of corn! Lost a good pan outta that one!

9: I also burned mac and cheese (yep....threw the pan away)

10: I started a fire while making sausage.....I threw the pan out the back door into a snow pile. I threw that pan away again.

11: My mom usually buys me new pots and pans for Christmas!

12: I kill plants by drowning them. I am considered a "Serial Plant Killer"!

13: I pout!

14: I pout a lot!

15: I have a list ("Friends" lovers will understand this). Basically, it is a list of famous people that if ever given the chance, I could have guilt free sex with! My hubby has a list too!

16: Matt Damon is on my list!

17: So is Freddy Prince Jr. ("I Know What You Did Last Summer"...Married to Sarah Michelle Geller!)

18: So is Sponge Bog Square Pants!

19: If I had to be an animal, I would be a Llama, because I like to say Llama!

20: Did I mention that I think Matt Damon is hot????

21: I took 2 years of Spanish in High School and I can only count to 10!

22: I love the color Orange!

23: Have you realized that I have not accomplished much in my life by now???

24: I am not a vegetarian however, when I drive by cows I feel really really sad that I eat them!

25: I cannot stand people who pretend to be someone that they are not!

26: People who cause drama in their lives and then whine about it are idiots!

27: I cannot do math!

28: I fansy myself as a badass!

29: I was a cheerleader in High School.....and a damn happy one! Especially when my friends would slip me some alcohol in a Casey's cup!!! Go Team!!!

30: I have had over 30 surgeries in my life! Most same day surgeries....3 major surgeries. Kidney Surgery in 5th grade, C-Section 10yrs ago, Hysterectomy 2yrs ago.

31: I have bad kidneys!

32: People who have animals and then ignores them are assholes!

33: People who have children and then ignores them are even bigger assholes.

34: I hate doing laundry!

35: I am not organized. But my house is spotless.

36: I laugh every time someone says Uranus!

37: I went t-p'ing (toilet papering) just a few months ago! We used 2 Ply!!!! Oh yeah!

38: I have stole pumpkins before....I won't tell you when I did that though! You might think I'm immature or something!!! :-)

39: At a Halloween Party last year, me and a friend put a candy bar in their tub (If you've seen Caddyshack you will understand this), Vaseline on their toilet, rice krispies in their bed and a pair of granny undies with ketchup and melted chocolate (with peanuts)in them and hung them from the ceiling fan!

40: One time a group of me and hubby's friends broke into our other friends house and put everything from the living room into the kitchen, everything from the kitchen into the living room, ky jelly on their phones, a big huge toy in their bed, etc.

41: They tried to get us back, unsuccessfully!

42: I used to be a Wedding Coordinator! I hated Bridezillas and even worse, their mothers!!! Agggghhhh!

43: I got a sliver in my butt before from falling on a deck! My friend had to help get it out! It wasn't pretty!

44: I got smacked in the face by a ball playing volleyball, dodge ball, basketball, football, tennis, soccer, baseball, hot box and racket ball. I either got a bloody nose, fat lip, bruised, black eye or concussions from all these hits. I'm N.O.T. kidding either!

45: That's when I decided to be in dance!

46: I sprained my groin muscle in dance!

47: I am very accident prone!

48: We have a motorcycle, my parents have a motorcycle, my sister and hubs have a motorcycle, my in-laws have a motorcycle. We have fun!

49: I fell off the motorcycle once (it wasn't moving yet) after a drunken night! My friend drove me home in the car after hubby banned me from the motorcycle!

50: Are you still here???

51: I tried to cut Diva's hair once when she was a toddler. It took months to grow out!

52: Diva is very, very smart!!!

53: Diva's mom is not very smart!

54: I still look in the closet and check under the bed and I quickly open the shower curtains screaming like a lunatic and doing kung-foo after watching scary shows!

55: Oh alright, I do it every night!

56: Diva is a big chickenshit too!

57: I like to do this(.............)a lot!

58: If I were a cartoon character, I would be "Patrick" from "SpongeBob Square Pants"

59: I watch kids shows even when Diva isn't home! My favorite is "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody"

60: Whew; I can count to 60! Oh Snap!!!!

61: I walked around a mall with my dress tucked into my undies for an hour! It was Great!!!

62: I live for Fountain Diet Coke!!!! I cannot live without it! It's my Nirvana!

63: I was in an interview once with a fat, smelly toothless man one time. He spit while he was talking and it went right into my mouth. I gagged and left the interview telling him that I had the flu! I'm gagging right now!

64: My favorite saying is "Chill or be Chilled!"

65: I am stressed out 99.99999999% of my life!

66: I love my momma, but when someone tells me that I am acting like her, I lash out!

67: If I were famous, I would so N.O.T. have a blog! I would have my assistant blog for me!

68: If I were famous, I would make fun of the little people! :-)

69: This is my most FAVORITE number!!!!

70: I got partially hit by a car one time! I was standing outside of a bar when a car went by and slapped my ass with it's mirror. It didn't hurt, and I laughed really hard! It was Funny!

71: My daughter says "mom" over 1000X's a day! "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom" It bugs the shit out of me!

72: I wish Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt would adopt me! I'm scared of the dark though so I would have to sleep in the bed next to "DADDY!"

73: I accidently peed on my hubby before! Excuse me!!! I sneezed and I HAVE BAD KIDNEYS! Geesh!

74: I love blue pens and write so much prettier with blue pens!

75: I fell into a garbage can full of dog doo! My mom laughed so hard she nearly messed herself! My hubby laughed so hard he did mess himself! I was pissed!

76: I want to work at Disneyworld!

77: I want to move to Florida!

78: Or Hawaii

79: I broke my butt before. Well at least it felt like it when I fell down the stairs at my High School! In front of the school stud muffin!

80: I did a butt spin in my cheerleading outfit at a school dance. I was the center of attention!!!

81: I watched a 9yr old girl die. Actually, I pulled the oxygen off of her to allow her to meet Jesus. It was my friends daughter, who had a metabolic disorder that rendered her a vegetable (was a perfectly happy normal toddler until this monstrous disease destroyed her!) My friend was single and we new the oxygen was keeping her alive, she didn't want to do it herself and she didn't want anyone who didn't love her daughter to do it so I was asked! It was the hardest thing I have ever done!

82: My daughter has the same middle name as this angel. I wanted to keep her alive some how!

83: I had a dream that my Grandpa was going to die. A very weird dream that lasted for a minute. When I woke up, my Grandpa had died of a severe heart attack!

84: I was confirmed as a Catholic but when I was old enough I decided it wasn't the right place for me. Diva was baptised a Methodist at a church I truly loved and sad I had to move away from!

85: I played the violin! I sucked so bad that my hound dog would whine every time I practiced! My dad used to tease that his ears bled!

86: I was a Square Dancer when I was a child. My parents were in a group and I just sorta learned it and invited into the group. I was the youngest Square Dancer in the state! I had to quite after a year when they decided kids couldn't join any longer! I was really good!

87: 3 years ago I had Spinal Meningitis! It was the worst headache ever! I was in the hospital for 3 days! Luckily, it was the viral which means that it wasn't contagious and wasn't too serious.

88: My sister had the bacterial Spinal Meningitis when she was 8yrs old and almost died!

89: My sister and I fight a lot but she is one of my Best Friends!

90: I have a lot of friends. Friends that have been with me since 1st grade and up! I not only have a lot of friends, I have the best friends EVER!

91: I was engaged once before my hubby! I was young and stupid!

92: I am terrified of snakes! Terrified! I cry and scream if I see one! And every snake is considered a King Cobra too me!

93: I love Elvis! My favorite show of his was "Blue Hawaii!" I have been to Graceland and stood next to the pink jeep that was in the show! I was so happy!

94: I never finished college. :-(

95: I saw an autopsy on a 2yr old little girl that died of choking on a piece of chicken. I was going to be a nurse. I had to leave several times to throw up and didn't eat for days after that! It was terrible!

96: I am a CPR Instructor for the American Red Cross. I also teach First Aide, AED, and babysitting classes.

97: The worst job I have ever had was selling Kirby vacuums. Don't ask!

98: My other nick name (other then Pissy Krissy) was "Yoda." I'm short and wise. Okay, just short!

99: I'm scared of death!

100: I got pooped on by a bird while on the motorcycle. It hurt like a mother f'er!

That's it! There you go! All done! Can I get a "Whoop-Whoop?"


A Buns Life said...

Whoop! Whoop! I'm with ya on #26, and I laugh when my son says #36! Great list. I think if I ever met you, I would just be laughing my ass off non-stop.

FUN-ky Mama said...

Congrats on your 100th post! I am feeling......ok. I will be better in a few days! lol
Thanks for checking up.

Sandy C. said...

OMG!!! I loved reading every single one of these! Isq had no idea you wanted to be a nurse! I can't imagine watching an autopsy on a 2-year old. Had I seen that while in nursing school, I may have considered dropping out!

You and I have quite a bit in common...except for the diet soda and the square dancing ;)

Mama Zen said...

Picturing Spongebob in the sack . . .I may never watch cartoon again!

Anonymous said...

The comment you left the other has my repeatedly busting a gut laughing.

I dunno-something about a mom saying 'Mouthy As Hell' just hilarious to me.

Thanks for the blog lovin'!! It does wonders for my ego!

noble pig said...

Okay, I wish I lived next door to you because you just seem so real and fun. I would have helped you out of the trash can of dog doo-doo but I can't promise that I wouldn't be laughing while doing it.

Kathryn said...

Whoop, whoop!!!

You rock!! I read every single one! Yeah you!
I love Matt Damon too. So glad he finally got sexiest man this year. Whew!
And yes. Next time your in Favre country (it will always be Favre country to me!) give me a freaking call!!!!!!

April said...

I've gotten pooped on by birds like THREE Times! LOL And I too played the violin and sucked total ass.

N said...

Ha, ha--funny stuff! Thanks for helping me get through my morning as I have been stood up for my first two appts!

Anonymous said...

I just re read that, #54 & #55-laughed so hard I spit a little. I also do the kung foo, scream like a lunatic at shower curtains.

jess said...

i had a hysterectomy in 2003...for me, it was the best thing ever.

llama. llol. :D

you ARE a bad ass! hello!?!??

i was NOT a bridezilla. except about the dress. kinda.

blue pens suck. black only. now i know who they make blue pens for though.

you're never too old to finish college. i graduated when i was 29...

Lisa said...

That list is really funny. Really - you can't make most of that stuff up :)

Nissa said...

Whoop whoop! Congrats!!!

Okay, Gabby is cool, but Penelope??? What ever made you want that name as a kid? You're too weird(but that's why I like ya!)

hahaha- my verification word looks like tampon! It's not, but close!

Amy said...

Oh Krissy, you crazy, CRAZY gal!! Loved this list! But seriously, Sponge Bob, ewwww!

A Buns Life said...

Thanks for my icy cold beer award!! You so know me!! It looks like hefeweizen, my favorite! :) xoxoxoxo! Isn't that award site cool?

LunaNik said...

The best part about this list is that you ended almost every single sentence with an exclamation point!


You're friggin' funny.

Congrats on your 100th!

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...


especially the butt spin at the dance!(that is just the one that keeps sticking in my head, and when i read it i just got so excited! yay!) are my kinda mama!

awesome awesome share!


in da hizzzzzouse

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

You are hilarious woman! A seagull once pooped on me on college spring break in Daytona Beach. Boy that was awesome. ;)

I LOVE fountain Cokes but I love the fully leaded/sugared up kind.

Mike Golch said...

well I'm nearing the 100 posting and No I'm not writting the 100 things it would overtax my tinny tinny brain.Look that up in your Funk and Wagnels!

Kathryn said...

Okay. I can't find your email address so I'll just give you the link here.

You have to go and check it out. Chrissy, my bloggy friend, sent it to me for the Brett Favre clip. It is pretty cute and actually mentions the city I live in. Check it out.
More than that it also has the clip Sarah Silverman did for Jimmy Kimmel. It is SOOOO funny. And knowing your love for Matt Damon I figured if you haven't seen it already you HAVE to watch it. I love it!
Then of course Jimmy responds with the Jimmy and Ben video.
It is right up your ally, humor wise. Check it out!

Huckdoll said...

*LOL* Happy 100th!!! Here's to a hundred more <3

Grandy said...

Whoop - efing - Whoop indeed!!

I will have to come back and read it again because I'm sure I didn't catch it all. :)

You rock momma!!