Good Lord oh Mighty! I just can't win or lose today. My humor has left me, my spirits have moved out and my mind is packing it's bags.........
Yeah...I need a few alcoholic beverages! To bad I have to train tonight for my big job at
Tar-jay! I'll be wearing the khaki pants, the red shirts (which I look horrific in red) and tennis shoes. But I will get the hell out of this house for awhile each day and I will speak to adults, different from my 40 conversations to my hubby each day! SWEET!
My morning started off fighting with Diva......AGAIN! You see, she hates jeans. Hates them, loathes them, despises them. As I was looking through the hundreds of dollars I have spent on her wardrobe that she doesn't where I realized that all her jeans were missing. I asked her, she played dumb! After her little slumber party that destroyed her bedroom and looked like Toys-R-Us threw up in there, I noticed behind her dresser, were the missing jeans. The little shit hid all her jeans in hopes that she would never have to wear them again. I have taken everything this child loves away from her. I have grounded her numerous times, I have taken friends away and all fun family activities. Nothing works for her stubborn little ass! I lost my temper this morning. I made her cry before school, before a big test in Math that she has been struggling in anyway (converting measurements, pure, utter HELL!)
Then as I was headed into the city to do some quick faxing for my husband (he was on the road) I cried the whole way! I felt like a piss poor mother, I felt like Satan, I felt like I was losing a war! I cried, and cried, and cried! I almost went and picked her up from school just so I could tell her how sorry I was and how much I love her. But I knew the consequences of double the homework would be like licking butt crack....so I just prayed for God to help me out some!
After I left my hubby's work I went on the hunt for khakis and red shirts. I came out with one red shirt and one pair of khakis. I also came home with 3 non-work outfits, purse and shoes. Then I felt even more guilty.
Then I had to run to Target b/c I had forgot to tell them that there are days that I cannot work. I had prior engagements and I cannot work. I was sure I would be fired. I was scared to talk to them but then I pulled myself together and spoke with the HR lady. She said "no problem" and I went on my merry way thinking at least one thing was good in my world today.
Then I got the phone call: from my freaking out hubby. Apparently, I faxed a proposal to all the wrong people, including his competition. I won't go into details b/c I really don't understand it myself but this was a bad, bad thing. So, since he was still on the road and an hour away I had to go back to the office and call every single person (50 or so) and tell them to pull the bid, it wasn't valid any longer. I lost a good job for my hubby. I live in the world of "Loserville". Population: 1
I bawled like a baby! Hubby got back to the office and gave me a hug and kiss and told me he wasn't mad at me.......but I am not stupid and know I didn't listen to directions well so yeah, it was all my fault. He asked to go to lunch, I cried and just wanted to go home so people cannot see my puffy, swollen eyes!!!! And I always get the hiccups and a migraine from crying so I feel fan-funking-tastic right now!!!! And I got a big ole bloody nose on the way home which I am sure ruined my shirt!!! It lasted for 15minutes of blood gushing all over the place and one napkin to mop it up. Finally, I said screw it, and shoved the napkin up my nostril. I got some great looks from that. Imagine it, puffy eyes, red face, hair a mess from me running my hands through it all day and a napkin shoved up my nose. I looked as good as I felt!
After getting home I receive more bad news, the dog puked on the floor, and I am having a totally fat day! My spanx are in the washer and I am bummed because I need those suckers to suck in the dough that sticks out all over my body! I have a rash from stress, I have had 10 panic attacks, I have taken my max dose on meds and am completely out of it, and I have until 10pm before I can drive my crying ass home to lay in bed and hope to sleep my problems away.
And I cannot drink! I cannot go to work drunk, especially when I am wigging from my meds.
And I have no energy to vacuum up the dog hair that is in clumps around the house (thanks to the dogs fighting while I was gone). And I refuse to clean the bathrooms or do any laundry. I am so exhausted I could sleep with my eyes open!
I am pathetic!!!
I am a crappy mom!!
I am a crappy wife!!
I am a crappy person!!
I want my daddy! I want my mommy! I need my blog!
And we are going to have more snow forcasted into our days. I could write so many cuss words here I would need to use a brillo pad to wipe out my dirty mouth!
Sorry for being in the dumps........sorry for being unhappy and ridiculous....sorry for bringing you down!!!!
I won't post until my humor comes home and my mind unpacks!!