Friday, March 28, 2008

The trouble with butts!!!

There are many troubles with butts.


It can be that your butt is too big!

It could be that your butt is too flat!

I hardly doubt that anyone would ever say their butt is too small! And if they did I would stick a hot poker in their eye!

It could be that your hubby/boyfriend is a butt!

It could be that your boss is a butt!

It could be that your butt is crusty and itchy!

It could be that your butt has a hemorrhoid!

It could be that your butt hurts from getting it slapped to much!

It could cause you guilt when you spank a child's butt!

It could be that you have a gigantic pimple on your butt!

It could be that you like looking at nice butts; but your significant other doesn't like that too much and it causes problems!

It could be that you don't even like the word butt!

It could make you feel sick when you think about what comes out of the butt!

It could be that it is numb from sitting on your butt for too long!

It could be that your butt has a magnetic attraction to the couch!

It could be that ugly, smelly toothless men pinch your butt!

It could be that your doctor has to stick his finger up your butt!

It could be that your significant other has fantasies about doing the nasty with your butt! If you recall the Huckdoll sex question, you will giggle like me!

It could be that you are constipated and you have to stick a suppository up your butt!

It could be you are having major surgery and a nurse molests you by sticking an enema up your butt!

It could be you sticking a thermometor up your child's butt!

It could be that your butt is way to hairy!

It could be that your big butt doesn't fit into your skinny jeans anymore!

It could be that your butt seeps out fowl smells and loud sounds at the most inappropriate time.



I could go on and on but (no punt intended) you get the idea. Really, our butts are our "pain in the asses!"

And I just wanted to tell you about my redneck friend in Texas. This yoo-hoo's actually go "Rattle Snake Hunting." All I can say is that they are f'ing dim-witted. And then my retarded redneck sends me pictures knowing how much I hate snakes! What a pea brain!!!!!




7 comments:

noble pig said...

Oh my god, butts are disgusting aren't they. This completely cracked me up..get it..he-he

Brittany said...

I have no butt. I wish I did. :(

N said...

Great stuff--butts are so funny!

katie said...

I never thought about it... but (ha, pun intended) I have to say... I Love butts!

Mike Golch said...

BUT,BUT,WHAT A BUT!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Funny post!

The Princess informed me that she needed to be able to use the word butt (I don't allow her to say it....at least not in front of me). Her reasoning was that booty and behind sound too babyish...and it should be okay to say butt, as long as she doesn't call someone that name! I think she may be prepping for a career practicing law!

April said...

Um, me likey butts. I have a butt fetish, I must admit. I check out both men and women's. I. Can't. STop.