Here's what South Dakota has to offer! Wannabe cowboys who wear the 10gallon hats and drive Chevy Cavilers (their fat heads with their fat hat's barely fit and they drive with their head sideways!), women who wear clothes that are 2X's too small for them, lots and lots of corn, even more cows, crappy roads that will give you a hell of a ride if you are in the backseat drunk, it's just like Disney World! We also have waterfalls, yep, waterfalls! It's beautiful and I love being there but I must warn you.....it's not Niagara Falls or anything! If we drive 6hrs from my home we can go see the President heads carved inside a mountain.....that would be fun! Oh, did I mention the invigorating smell of cow shit??? Oh, Oh, we can ride a horse if you want! Yee-Haw! And if you come at the right time, you can come on the Lawnmower Poker Run that my little town does every year!
Granted, I do live near a big city, or big for us! We have malls, entertainment, bars, bars, bars! Nice restaurants and in those restaurants we have bars!!! And we do have an airport so you can all just fly if you want! And we have big planes! So no puddle jumpers (well some, but not all!)
Do you like corn??? Well, do ya?? Cuz we got plenty of corn! And I think we have more corn around here then most states cuz when the town shares a pair of dentures that only have a few teeth; corn isn't the most popular vegetable! Unless someone cuts it off the ear for ya!
So come join me! Did I mention that we all consume a ton of alcohol because we really don't know what else to do??? We do have museums and theaters, if that is your thing!
Just don't be disturbed by all the toothless people, cuz they can't bite you! The may try to "gum" you, but it won't hurt any!!! Promise!!! If you are a dentist, you could make a killing here!!!
A post all about how my Diva is being all sorts of pre-teenish and has been threatened to be grounded back to the uterus (I would need to find a donor and all because I don't have my womenly parts anymore.....any takers?) Yeah, it's been real fun around our abode! Her mouth, ohhh that mouth! She is two shakes away from sitting with Lava soap in that face hole! My patience is worn so thin it's bleeding! I'll tell you all about her consequence chart based on a strike system.....5 strikes and your out! Today is Monday, a new beginning, and the kid already has 3 strikes! All within a few hours! I love that kid with every ounce of my being however, I don't like this little person that has replaced my sweet, loving, adoring baby girl! And I'll also write about how she is in 4th grade and already wants to wear makeup to school and shave her legs and pits! And might I add that she is very concerned about growing hair "south of the belt." Yeah, she is freaked about having hair in her part that pee. And I'll write about how she found out about sex in 3rd grade from an older girl on the playground! So, we have had talks about things that this watery eyed mother didn't want to talk about so soon! If my child didn't purposely aggravate me, I would so be homeschooling. However, at least she is telling me about her conversations (The boy puts the part that pees in the girls part that pees! Nice, eh?). Since I already pretty much just wrote about this, I guess maybe there won't be another post! We'll see what drama tomorrow brings!!! It's a whole new "full of whines" day!
Good day dear friends!!!!