Friday, January 2, 2009

Not off to a good start.....

It's officially the second day into 2009 and already, yes already, our year stinks. It smells like shit actually. It isn't what I anticipated.

That could have been my biggest mistake. I anticipated a great year. I was hoping that my best day in 2008 would be my worst day in 2009. I am so naive.

My resolutions were short and most likely would be nothing more then a thought but damn if I didn't wish I could dive into those resolutions now instead of stressing out and worrying.

I felt it in my bones. I felt a strange feeling that something would drag us down again. We are the typical family that anything good comes with a price. Darn it....there is nothing in this world for free. Everything is a price. It's silly. It's discouraging. It's pissing me off.

I don't want to get into my drama. I don't feel like talking about it. I would rather wallow in my pity for a few days and then snapping out of it as I always do. We have each other, family, friends, health, a house, vehicles and we are able to pay our bills. And most importantly, we have God in this house. We are always supposed to "Give our worries to him" and I am trying so hard to do that.

Anywho. I think what is more discomforting is the fact that since we moved to South Dakota, 6 years ago, we have had some rotten luck. It is always one thing after another. We get beat up quite often. Because I am optimistic, I always know it could be worse. I have seen worse. And I am still thanking God for the blessings I have. So. The glass is half full....right?

I have nothing witty to say. I have nothing sarcastic to add. I don't have any energy and very little humor. I'm plastering a cheesy smile on my face for my daughter, husband, niece and nephew who are staying with us for a few days. I'm pretending that I am relaxed and calm. In reality, I want to scream and possibly harm a few people. Seriously, I could bang a few heads together right now. I would feel sooooo much better. Hmmm.....

If you have a few extra seconds just pray for peace for us. That's it. The holidays sucked without Dave (My father-in-law) and we have cried many tears because we could totally use his expertise advice. Happy New Year (blah, blah, blah.)


Kori said...

Will be praying. Love you bunches. Been missing you.

Kel said...

Oh honey...the hard knocks just keep coming. I'm praying for you, I'm sending you good thoughts and all else fails you're always welcome here in the south with me!

Patois said...

I'm sorry it's off to a bad start. I will send good vibes and keep you in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry sweetie. If you need me, I'm her to vent to, okay?