It's officially the second day into 2009 and already, yes already, our year stinks. It smells like shit actually. It isn't what I anticipated.
That could have been my biggest mistake. I anticipated a great year. I was hoping that my best day in 2008 would be my worst day in 2009. I am so naive.
My resolutions were short and most likely would be nothing more then a thought but damn if I didn't wish I could dive into those resolutions now instead of stressing out and worrying.
I felt it in my bones. I felt a strange feeling that something would drag us down again. We are the typical family that anything good comes with a price. Darn it....there is nothing in this world for free. Everything is a price. It's silly. It's discouraging. It's pissing me off.
I don't want to get into my drama. I don't feel like talking about it. I would rather wallow in my pity for a few days and then snapping out of it as I always do. We have each other, family, friends, health, a house, vehicles and we are able to pay our bills. And most importantly, we have God in this house. We are always supposed to "Give our worries to him" and I am trying so hard to do that.
Anywho. I think what is more discomforting is the fact that since we moved to South Dakota, 6 years ago, we have had some rotten luck. It is always one thing after another. We get beat up quite often. Because I am optimistic, I always know it could be worse. I have seen worse. And I am still thanking God for the blessings I have. So. The glass is half full....right?
I have nothing witty to say. I have nothing sarcastic to add. I don't have any energy and very little humor. I'm plastering a cheesy smile on my face for my daughter, husband, niece and nephew who are staying with us for a few days. I'm pretending that I am relaxed and calm. In reality, I want to scream and possibly harm a few people. Seriously, I could bang a few heads together right now. I would feel sooooo much better. Hmmm.....
If you have a few extra seconds just pray for peace for us. That's it. The holidays sucked without Dave (My father-in-law) and we have cried many tears because we could totally use his expertise advice. Happy New Year (blah, blah, blah.)