Hokey Dokey. Let's talk.
I like it when men find me attractive. Mainly because I can rub it in my husbands face when he pisses me off. It's ammunition. But also because I feel sexy and feel like I still have the stuff. Well. I do have the stuff but it is entirely the wrong kinda stuff I would like to have. Did that make sense? Probably not. I had wine tonight.
And although I don't like to toot my own horn
But far to many times it is gay women who are mesmerised by my beauty. Or maybe they just think I am really kinky
I know you are in suspense right now so I will tell the story.
There is a nasty
I told her
Did I mention that she was intoxicated because she is a foul mouthed drunk?
Sometime at a later date, the bag of vomit was at the bar again when my husband and I were there hanging with friends. I tried to hide from her. I did. I pleaded with my posse to leave and go somewhere where her crabs couldn't jump and catch us. They ignored my pleas. Apparently, they don't care about herpes infested crabs jumping on them, but I do!
Later in the night, she spied me. And she came running at mock speed to wrap her herped arms around me. And as she was coming at me, she hit me in the nose and I was bleeding all over my new shirt. Needless to say, I was furious.
Long story short. My husband and friend did my dirty work and pushed her drunk, VD'ed ass out the door. I fixed my nose and drank a shit load more. And the hooker went home.
But honestly. I get hit on more by girls then guys. I admit. When I am out with my girls we tend to look a little lesbianish. We kiss and hug and get all girly with squeals and tears and act like a bunch of mushy.....well....girls. And I don't care what people think because they are my girls. Like sisters. And I love them in a non-lover way. And I admit. I sometimes feel flattered because women want me (nah,nah,nah. Girls find me hot. Envy me yet?). I really do. But I would feel a whole lot better if the opposite sex wanted to rub my boobs too.
Anyone else have this problem? Hahaha. Like somebody is going to say "yes". Damn it.
I have now had 3 glasses of wine
I understand the Youtube videos now but I still have a generic piss of crap blog and would love some bling to it. Please.Please.Please. Pity me. Help me. Please?!