Thursday, May 1, 2008

The sky is falling.........

I swear, the sky is falling. It couldn't have possibly been bird poop that landed in my hair. Noooo.....Mother Nature loves me. She would never allow a bird to squirt it's contents from it's ass on to my head. So, the only other logical reason is the sky is falling.

Apparently, the sky is made up of white goo and berries. Because that is what landed on my hair and dripped onto my face.

Mother Nature isn't the dirty old hag that I once thought she was. I misjudged her. Even though a week ago we got 4inches of snow in April and snow is forcasted for tomorrow as well. This isn't her fault. It's old man winter just being stubborn. That's all. It has to be. And the tornado's that were circling all around us was Mother Nature just showing her awesome beauty. And if we get the rain that we are supposed too, it isn't her fault that I will be the owner of a home with a indoor swimming pool again. Nope, she doesn't mean to cause this harm to me.

Ohhhh.....who the hell am I kidding. That bitch is out to get me and she plays dirty. The wicked woman. I despise the ole hag. I really really do. And the bird pooping on my head was just her way of letting me know that she is still here, present in my life, controlling my days. What a dirtball.

I swear if it snows, I will kick her retarded ass all over the town. I mean it. She messed with the wrong chicky. I am a bull when I am pissed. Ask the poor exec at Target today who got a earful plus some from me. He was aghast at my determination and bull handedness. He knows, don't mess with a menopausal, dizzy, puking, pissed at the world woman.

So, Mother Nature.....bite my ass cheek and make my boobs jealous. Okay. We all hate you right now. Every single South Dakotan wants to burn you at the stakes. So, be afraid, be very afraid.
I need some wine! Dang it!

And for you viewing are some more pics of my delicious daughter whom is just the cutest thing. Yes, I am her mother so I think she is the best but whatever, she is top notch to me......

Dancing by herself as a precious flowergirl.

A true Papa's girl. Notice the big lug of a dog behind them. That's parents horse....

Lurch and my parents other dog, Cosmo. Isn't it cute......
The loves of my life.....


Brittany said...

And you want me to COME THERE? Are you kidding me woman? Snow is evil, and I hate driving in it!

Good luck, be safe, and watch for falling berries! :)

LaskiGal said...

Awe . . . look at all that twirly goodness!

OK. I was at the beach with my sibs and I walked by this group of guys. I felt something cool on my back. I thought the guys had thrown ice at me or flipped their wet straws at me. I scowled their way. They laughed. Just then my little bro screams, "That bird just pooped on you." Great.

Watch out for mother nature . . .especially when she is PMS-ing.

Huckdoll said...

I've been shit on too, but supposedly "THEY" say it'd good luck! Did you buy some lotto??

Umm..yeah. About the weather? I'm about to pull my hair out. It might now be snowing here, but it sure feels like it might. I was looking at old pictures tonight of the girls and I and on this day last year, they were wearing capris, sleeveless and sun hats.

Ugh. Shiteous.

cyndy said...

You need to move to Florida!
At least for the winters.
Beautiful pictures, I love the 2 doggies and the last pic of your family.

April said...

I feel your pain...I've been pooped on (by a bird) three separate times in my life. THREE?!!? Ugh.

And I've said it before but I'll say it again, that Diva is gorgeous!

Kori said...

April forgot to mention her need for a stripper pole. lol. Love the dogs. And the family picture is Awesome. You should so have it framed if you haven't already. Sorry about the whole bird poop thing. That has never happened me but if it did I would be very angry myself.

Kathryn said...

I'm with Brittany! Did you say you want US to go THERE? I don't think so!!!!
I think we should all meet up in Chicago sometime. Ohhh. That would be so fun!
Because you asked, the Twin Cities is a 6 hour drive from me but I know it by heart so the trip wouldn't be that big of a deal. But I'd prefer Chicago! Holla!
Mother Nature IS a bitch. And damn that bird too!

OHmommy said...

Cute pictures.

I have been trying to get a twirling picture FOREVER.

BTW, the old hag hates me too.

Mike Golch said...

Krissy,great photos.