Sunday, June 1, 2008

Hang over, colon cleanse, hangover 101

I feel like a drunken sailor people. Not only did I throw up mudslides out my nose last weekend I swallowed the evil, devil's water called tequila shots this weekend. And it wasn't meant to happen. No, people didn't manhandle me (well a few did but secretly I liked it) but I get that braveness that happens when you drink a few too many red beers and then the shots are the chasers. I haven't done a tequila shot in years. Well, the day my husband proposed to me was the last time I did a shot of the lighter fluid. But that's a whole different story.
My mom called me when I was in my drunken state. She is a overbearing mom. Always has been, always will be. So, she made the comment to me of "your becoming a regular drunk!" (sarcastically but if you knew her you would know that is her way of making a point!)

My response was "Yep, and I'm screwing every man here tonight mom........I'm hoping to make enough money to take a trip. Wanna come? I'm not only a drunk but a hooker"

I have to face this women today. She forgets all the times when I was a kid of our pool parties that were absolutely fun as hell but a lot of alcohol was consumed. But that's what she does best. Amnesia and Alzheimer's ironically play a part of her pathetic attempt of keeping a halo over her head.

Sadly, me and my mom are a lot alike. I don't so much look like her (my daughter does) but I certainly mimic her shit tactics she has always used to manipulate us kids.

Anyway, back to the party. Nope, I didn't use my boobs to make any money this week. I just got drunk as a skunk, kissed everyone I knew, because I am a lover when I am drunk, and I don't give a shit who you are, I love you! I met a thousand people, because I make friends very, very easy, and kissed them too.

Hubby was drunk and he is a lover too so he kissed everyone as well. This may sound weird to most of you but I truly do love everyone except for the people I hate. And for the people who start rumors about me or give me hell they usually get the wrath of me and it really doesn't make their lives nice. I'm vindictive like that! I know I am malicious but really, you have to really piss me off to get me there. Remember the post about the town whores that started rumors about me? They are deserving of my spitefulness. And if you mess with my kid, I will make your life dreadful.........

Anyway, I got some new friends, some cute little friends that I need to give some ego boosters too. Plus, all my old blog friends and my sweet friends that read my blog. But, I am still recovering considering I had to put in 8hrs yesterday with a massive headache and 2hours of sleep. So.Not.Fun.

Thanks for the sweet comments back about me. I love ego boosters because sometimes I get pretty down on myself. My self confidence could be worked on but I have bigger fish to eat then worry about that. So, this blog sorta helps with that.

So, here's what's to come.....more ego boosters for the new friends and old. And, I have a sex post that will rock your world. It is a doozy. It is informative, funny and grotesque. So, again for you haters of me.....kiss my right ass cheek and make the left jealous, cause I don't care what you think. I always have to post that.

And I will post a few pictures but again, most of them were me kissing friends and I don't want people to think I am lesbian because I don't munch carpet and we are not swingers, except for when we are trying to swing at the playground to see who can go the highest. I'm a lover and an occasional hater. That's me.

Here's a picture of me and my 35yr old husband.
Happy Birthday my sweet love. You are the reason that Sheylee and I have what we do. You have made dreams come true and you are the love of my life. Not only do I still find you sexy I also live with my best friend in the world. I cannot express my love and gratitude to you as it cannot be put in words. It is impossible to express that sort of emotion. Just know that I love your touch, your love, your words, you humor, your dedication to the family and your astonishing fatherly ways. And the sex is something to talk about too baby, but that's private so I won't go there.
Love your forever grateful wife,
Krissy

13 comments:

Mike Golch said...

pardon this one you might be a red neck if you shoot beverage out your nose,you might be a red neck if you over do the tequlia.....
Jeff foxworthy I will not appologize for the swipeing of your material.That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Oh, tequila is a dreadful shot. I don't envy you that headache. Take five Aleeve with three glasses of water and call me in the morning.

Kathryn said...

Nope. I do not do tequila. It is the devil's liquor. Blech!

Laski said...

Awe . . . happy b-day to the big man!!!

T-shots. Whoa!!! You musta been some kind a lover.

I'm been MIA the last week or so. I hate missing a minute of your life . . . I do, I tell ya!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Happy Birthday to your hubby! Oh, I remember my tequila days......

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Oh and, I have a present for you on my blog. YES, another one!

Kel said...

Sounds like you had one helluva weekend-everybody need a good drink or two! ;)
~K

tattooed mama said...

i didn't have any tequila shots and i remember something about boobs for an extra chair...?!
great party, you and craig rule!

sltbee69 said...

Your mom and my mom sound like they could be related somehow. I love her to pieces but at the same time she drives me bat shit crazy! I'm glad you had a great time and I can't wait to see more pictures and read that sex story too!

Blessings From Above said...

You are a better woman than I, there is no way I could handle a tequila shot in my old age.

Looking forward to your spicy new post!!!! :)

Stacy said...

What a great picture of you, too! Glad you had a fun time (pre-vomit). :) I have been drinking a bit too much lately, too, but I think that is just coming down from the trip to Sonoma where we were visting vineyards at 10 am and biting the hair of the dog. ;) I'm a hugger when I get drunk, BTW. :)

April said...

Awww,that was so sweet! What a great hubby and a cute couple! :-) And...ewww..tequila shots...blech.

Tara R. said...

You two are adorable! I don't want to remember the last time I did shots. All I will say is that a hot tub and a porcelain basin were involved.