Saturday, April 12, 2008

Random "night after hanging with the girls" post.....

(this picture is hanging from our door! LOL!)

I survived the winter blast from Mother Nature and I didn't even bitch all that much.........okay....I bitched a lot and I think some people are avoiding me until I stop all the bitching! Suckers!!!

I played Bunco last night, which is always so much fun! I laughed until I peed the spanx again. Those poor spanx......seriously, they have the worst job ever. Trying like the dickin's to hold together while my blubber gets stuffed into them, then enduring all the gross bodily functions. I don't ever want to be reincarnated to spanx. That will be my punishment for being such a naughty girl. I will get Spanxed!

Anyway, had tons of fun until 7am this morning when my daughter and her friend were frantically calling me. I'm taking their sassy butts to the mall (why do I hate myself!) to buy the friend a b'day present. I can see the events unfolding before my very tired eyes. No patience, 2 overly excited hooligans who want it all, and some stupid ass strangers b/c I live around stupid ass people!

*I see stupid people* Shuddering!

Anywho, then tomorrow is another b'day party and then the regular PTO skating party at which I will not skate thanks to lack of coordination, high heels and snowy ground. I kinda slipped yesterday and yanked my hip bone out of place. I think the bone is in my knee cap somewhere. It's pretty ugly, considering I already waddle when I I look like the "Hunchback of Notre Dame!"

I didn't get home until 2am, then had to "mop" (code word for sex!) and then had nightmares that were interfering with my much needed beauty sleep. So, I'm tired, hurting and going to deal with girls that just called again for the 15th time at which their lives were threatened. It should be swell. And do you think that man of mine will go with??? Nooooooo.......I'm flying solo!!!

Actually, I am concerned about my patience a wee bit (only b/c these two girls gang up on me) but it won't be that bad. I do feel sorry for the poor sap that accidentally bumps into me or that steps on my toes because I might be nasty!!! I don't like to get nasty, but really, the bitch just spews out of my mouth without warning sometimes. It's a curse, I know. Pity me!!! Damn it....I want pity!!!

On to a brighter, less "split personality" note: Ayden's fund is rising and we are getting closer to the big reveal. I get to be there, wearing a neon green shirt, and most likely with mascara streaking down my cheeks. But it should be heartwarming! I cannot wait! Our goal was high, no doubt about that, and we are not done by far, but we are so close we can see the finish line. Yeah for Ayden!! When I have an update on his health, I will be sure to post!

Until then, say a little prayer for the two bratty girls that don't know what they are in for today!


Tara R. said...

I pity the person who steps on your toes, I think you can take care of yourself. :D

Nothing I hate more than mall shopping with a couple of teens (or pre-teens). Good luck and try not to kill anyone.

Hope your hip is better very soon.

OHmommy said...

I am so glad my kids do not understand shopping just yet. :)

Brittany said...

I love your code word for sex... our is "cookies" we are baking cookies... lol I know... I know... ha ha.