Sunday, April 20, 2008

A ode to all the crap brained guests at Target........

Alright you freakity, freak, freaks! Here me. Hear me. I have new rules that you are to oblige to at all times! Don't mistake this as a joke or I will end up doing a high kick to your head!

1: Can you please, please not sneeze in your hand and then wipe your mucus on the same dollar bill that you are handing to me! WTF! Are you mentally challenged? Are you on some bad crack? Are you ignorant and disgusting. See my last post.....I don't need anymore "disgusting" in my life. My daughter has that covered! Thank you very much!

2: Do you really think that giving me the exact change for a $7.98 bill is that f'ing important? If I don't get your old ass out of the store in a timely manner, it is I who gets the big fat "R" for taking too long on one transaction. Is the two pennies that you get back in change from $8 really going to mess up your life? Is it going to hinder you from living? NO! Just give me the f'ing $8. Gosh damn it son of a old people ride my nerves!

3: Do you not understand what "Express, 20 items or less" meant? Can you count or read? Do you know your ABC's in Alphabetical order? Stop screwing with me people. I can count and read, and I know that when you add another 5 items to your already 40 items, that you are well above the 20 items. Shit PEOPLE! Do you understand that the people behind you giving you death stares only complain to me after your dumb ass leaves?

4: If your child just threw up licorice and I had to clean up the vile off of the floor, maybe you should leave, as your child is SICK! But if you decide not you think feeding your sick kid more candy is really the best idea you dumb ass? You need to buy a clue! Next time, why don't you clean up your child's sugar induced throw up?????

5: Please do not ask for a kleenex, wipe the mile long snot string from your toddlers face, and then hand me the kleenex to throw away. Do as all other mothers do, stick the kleenex in your pocket and throw it away later. I only touch my child's snot, and I have no freaking desire to wipe up your child's green, stringy boogers. You are so stupid!

This was my Saturday night at Target! It was a freaking mess and I cannot believe the stupidity that I am wrapped up in! OMG!


Noble pig said...

You need to get out of there! OMG it's grossity-gross at every turn...EEWW!

Mike Golch said...

stupid is as stupid does. Sorry that you have to put up with this.

three tries better work!

LaskiGal said...

"Do you know your ABC's in Alphabetical order?"

I couldn't stop laughing . . . I so miss Target. My Saturday night entertainment. Guess I'll have to stick with Walmart!

cyndy said...

I'm go glad I don't work with the public any more. It sucks!

Brittany said...

GRR. I just typed this once.



And i decided that I would come to your target and take 100 items through the 20 item line. what if it were sexy undies and KY jelly? Is that any better?

Lilith Silvermane said...


That is all!

Tara R. said...

You are a master at the rant... I love it! I wish I could come through your check out lane, you rawk!

April said...

My GOD is everyone that freakin' ignorant?!?! GROSS!

Stacy said...

Seriously, I don't know how you don't start yelling at people! There are A LOT of stupid people out there...most of them are driving in front of me...must be on their way to Target. ;)