Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dirty Sex Talk.....PG13

Back by popular demand.....

Let's talk about raunchy dirty sex! MMMMmmmmm, my kinda post, and apparently your kind a post too.

I want to discuss manhood. You know that ugly wrinkly thing that hangs in the middle of your mans legs, complete with 2 little shriveled up raisins. It's disguising. Let's face it. It's vile. Ick! They are U.G.L.Y and they don't have no alibi. Their Ugly, Ugly, yeah yeah their ugly (resorting back to elementary!)

So really, the thing that makes our men manly MEN are their jewels. I for one have been known to hurt my hub in those precious jewels. I try to take his manhood away from him when he gets ugly with me and he knows that I am quite capable of doing so.

But sometimes we need to let the men be Manly Men. We need to give them a ego booster. I know what you are all saying. "What about my ego booster?" and I will get to that in another post.

Today is man's day. You see, I am a believer that if you ego boost your man here and there and make him feel oh so important, good things will come your way too. He won't look at the credit card statement and scream. He may look at it and silently weep, but we don't care about that do we? Anyway, it's Karma. It's Respect. What comes around goes around.

So, since sex is every man's favorite pastime, let's give them a boost in the bedroom. You can compliment him on his unit, you can do things that you don't typically do, you can play Princess Warrior and he is the Prince. It doesn't matter. A simple compliment or action will make him "explode" with excitement.

I am trying to do this in a PG-13 way here people. So use your dirty minds and read between the lines. A lot of women don't play with their man and their jewels. Try it once! Surprise him! Show him who is a dirty dirty little girl.

Life is so much better when you are functioning as a cohesive team. This may sound a little immature but if you want a little "sumthing, sumthing" as well then say: "Hey, I just did bleepity, bleep, bleep for you, so now you do bleepity, bleep, bleep for me, Got it!"

Okay, a little nicer would work better but I love sounding like I am the control freak. Actually, I sorta am but moving on.............

And here's another little fun game to play. Simon Says! Ladies, get all sexed up in your dirty little lingerie. Dig it out of the drawers and dust off the spider webs. And then entice your man into this fun little game. He will be surprised and totally turned on. Keep it fun! Turn your sex life into fun, not numb!!!!

Any questions??? Email me at! I will answer them with an open mind and a lot of useful information.

Have fun!!!! Think Dirty!

This photo has nothing to do with my post.....I just thought it was funny and made me giggle!


Brittany said...

I dunno. My hubby's are kinda nice... not ugly at all.... umm... I've seen ugly ones... and thankfully, the one I get to see the rest of my life is not so bad!
(I am so glad he doesn't read my comments. HE WOULD KILL ME! lol)

Blessings From Above said...

Ughhh...isn't there something else I could. How about take out the garbage for him? Or make him coffee? Probably wouldn't have the same affect, huh?

cyndy said...

Wait, some women don't play with the jewels?
They're missing out on some fun times!

Nissa said...

Simon Says! Love that- will try tonight!

LaskiGal said...

Oh girl . . . you kill me.

Seriously, dirty PG 13 Sex Talk . . . only you :)