Saturday, August 9, 2008

Jibberish!

Oh, I love being a firecracker. Really, I do. Sure, I've been getting beat up lately, nothing new to me. I've been beat up before by life but I never give up and always give it a helluva fight. But it usually takes awhile before I start to fight. I always have fear at first.

But there are days where empowerment overrides my urge to crawl into a hole and lick my wounds. There are days that I surprise myself and my strength. Yes, I'm a bitch. Seriously, I am. I don't get pissed on by others unless I am on fire or was stung by a jellyfish (which has never happened yet) without giving some attitude back. But man, you cross the line and my inner strength boils and it is never pretty. Ever. I wouldn't even flinch if someone called me the naughty "C" word because I would have to agree right now.

But empowerment is so ummm....empowering (?). I love when I walk away, even though there may be tears in my eyes, there's pride in my soul.

Such as when I deal with Sandford Hospital and insurance companies. For God's Sake, these people are on my shit list 4000X's. They like to use the art of confusion. Well, guess what. That's my art people. Ask my husband. I will confuse the fuck right out of him until finally he gives in just for the sake of his head not exploding. So, Sanford Health and Insurance companies have a challenge with me. And when I say "Fucking fix this problem or I will sue your ass!" I fucking mean it. I will try over and over to not go that route because who the hell wants to deal with blood sucking lawyers? Anyone? Not I! But when I threaten it, I down right mean it. And suddenly, out of no where, these geeks are catching on. I am not all bark and no bite. I bite, hard! And my husband is no different. We are not a family to be reckoned with.

Or like when you are dealing with the most annoying drunk on the planet earth. Tonight was girls night out. I hesitated going because I physically feel beat up but my terrific husband begged me to go, knowing I would settle into the comfort of friends and have a good time. He was right (shhhh...don't tell him!) I had fun. I didn't drink alcohol and sipped diet coke all night long but I still made my own dance floor, flashed a camera and sent it to my husband (he loves this and loves it even more because I am a bad influence and usually friends boobs start popping out everywhere, all of which are texted to my husband!), and threw peanuts at people just because it was funny. Always strangers and they always participate by throwing them back. So, I basically start a food fight with peanuts (I would yell " Watch OUt, there are flying nuts!). But then there is always that one freak, the one that thinks that while you are dancing with your girls he is invited to rub his crotch up against your butt. Ummm....if I don't allow my husbands tube anywhere near my butthole, I would like to know why drunk idiot feels that he can. I nicely (yeah right!) push him away and tell him to go mack on someone else. He doesn't get the clue. Of course. Drunk, stupid and probably a moron even when he is sober.

Then he proceeds to try to sit with the girls. And proceeds to tell us how big his cock is. Considering I just felt it on my backside, I would say he was sadly mistaken and had big dreams.

Finally, after trying to console a friend that is having relationship problems and "drunk moron" continues to interrupt our conversation, I say:
"If you dick is so big, why don't you put it up your ass and fuck yourself?" He stares in amusement at first, then realizes that I am going to rip his ears off if he doesn't leave, why the other girls are laughing hysterically, and he quietly walks to the other side of the bar, as far away from me as possible. See ya, dumbshit! Then all the girls stare at me with respect because they don't have the nerve to bluntly, rudely and honestly tell the scum the damn truth. We gave him nice gestures at first, but he was too whacked to figure out the clues. So, I just gave it straight. It worked. What a concept.

So, empowerment is when you have just had enough. You are sick of the bullshit and realize that a lot of the problems are present because you have not been consistent enough and now you have no other choice. So, after a moment of freaking, you buck up and take the bull by the horns. And by God, things start to happen and people start to listen and you realize that
"Hot damn, I can handle my life. I can move mountains and I can fight armies with some self confidence, educating yourself by using the Internet and heap of bitch!"

Powerful shit I tell ya.....try it. It works. I guess I am realizing for the first time that I don't have to get shit on and I can be the shitter.

On to another note....I finally have a few more pics for "Sexy Women Challenge" and I am going to work on that tomorrow night. Women feeling sexy without being on People Magazine. Love it. And thanks for the prayers for my Step FIL. He is home and happy, doing well. We are relieved. God heard the prayers and answered them. We are all thankful for your kind words and prayers. You are all wonderful. Thank you!

And I have a meme to do. I will be busy. But I wanted to document my courage and empowerment so that I can relate back to this post and say: "Oh yeah, I can control this. Because I am a bitch!"

Awwww.....I love being a bitch. Maybe I should change my name to "BitchCracker?"
Naw, I'll stick with what I know.

If you need some confidence in your life right now and need to know how to unleash the beast, talk to me. I'm new at it but I have learned quick and can consider myself a soon to be expert. Talk to me. I can help you. I can. I'm cool. I'm way cool. I'm way, way cool.

Okay, so I'm not that cool!!!

Hugs friends......remember to stay strong, stay firm and stand tall. You can always get up after a fall!

6 comments:

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

Bitchcracker! ha h aha

Tara R. said...

Bitchcracker! I love that! Love what you said to drunk moron too. Priceless.

Grandy said...

LOL Cracka Momma!!

Mama Zen said...

I'm loving Bitchcracker!

Lilith Silvermane said...

You've been tagged! Come and see why..

http://crunchygreenmom.blogspot.com/2008/08/ive-been-tagged.html

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I will have to remember that line for the next time a loser messes with me while I'm out with the girls!

Thanks! :)