Monday, August 4, 2008

The funny things in life......

Some of you would consider me weird.....

Some of you would consider me psycho....

Some of you would consider me fun....

You are all right!

But I can tell you this until I turn blue in the face.....I love to laugh.

So, to laugh like me you must be all of the above. I thought I would give you a glimpse of some of the wonderful things that make me laugh the most.

1) In the car with my niece, nephew and daughter. I was showing them my muscles (more like blob) in my arms. I was saying Ka-Pow and Ka-Blam...these are considered dangerous weapons. Of course, on cue, my daughter rolls her eyes. I told her that I am the one who kicked Super Women's ass....hence why you don't hear about her anymore. I told them that I have some kick ass weapons. My daughter responds with "Well, I have buns of steel" and my niece says "I have abs of steel" and my sweet little guy said "I eat steel for breakfast!" I thought this was hilarious.

2) After sending my daughter off to bible study (2 full hours of pure quiet!) my friend comes over to enjoy some "NO CHILDREN TIME." We are sitting at the table, eating some supper and laughing about stupid things. My hubby was there too. He farts. I fart. Lynard farts. We were playing musical chairs. Truly, I don't fart as much as you gals think, I just blog about it more. Anyway, we were laughing so hard that Lynard shot some snot out of her nose along with some diet coke. Fucking comical I tell you!

3) We were invited to some friends house last night. My husband called to verify plans. His friend must have mentioned something about putting on some clothes as he was in his boxers. This friend tends to be moody. My husband says to him "Dude, stop acting like a girl. Now put your cock down and socks on and we'll be over shortly!" His friend agreed, usually does when my husband gets on him for being moody and having an attitude. Cracked my ass up!

4) Once we got to our friends house, my husband noticed a hole in the yard the size of the Grand Canyon. He mentions how dangerous it could be. As we were leaving, my husband, who pointed this hole out specifically to me because I'm clumsy, steps in the hole and almost breaks his neck. Of course, I was in the car splitting a gut! Taught him a valuable lesson.

5) You all know that my daughter is going through a "stage" of Miss AttitudePissyPants. So, I told her that I was going to ignore her antics and no longer talk to her if she was being snotty or whiny. She starts to get tears in her eyes and says "That's great MOM....I guess you'll never talk to me again because I am always whining and snotty!" At least she knows it! Now if we can fix it!!!

6) Blasting my new favorite song "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock (love Kid Rock) and irritating the shit out of my husband and daughter. Daughter went into her room and slammed the door and hubby turned the t.v. up in an attempt to out-do my speakers and my mouth singing to it. I prevailed and hubby finally left the room! Score one for me!

7) My friend Janelle, who has always referred to me as her KrissyPoo, threatening to come up here and kick the snot out of any person that has fucked with me recently. The list is 4 people in my town, an entire hospital, the lawyer and insurance companies. I have people, PEOPLE! Don't mess with a KrissyPoo who has her gals.

8) Getting drunk text from friends that involve my boobs. It's always about my jugs. She told me that her B cups were jealous and she can't help to stare at my nice ass DD's. WTF? I laughed, asked if she was wasted, and offered to pick her drunk ass up! My friends rock though!

9) Getting a text that reads "The US Government is going to ship all retards away. I started crying when I thought of you. Be strong little buddy, wear your helmet and run fast!" Ha, Ha!

10) A very large man at Target took a dump in the restroom and it was so enormous that it wouldn't flush. Obviously, it was the men's restroom so all woman were safe from seeing it. However, we did see our men that work there come running out green and gagging. Some of them were mesmerised with it's girth and length. Women were safe until someone took a picture of it and then proceeded to text it to us. It was nothing short of the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. They swore they had to cut it up to flush it. After seeing the picture, I would imagine this as true. At least I didn't have to deal with it though because I would have puked out last weeks lunch. But these guys I work with always give me some giggles. Idiots.

So, you see.....I have a life full of fun, laughter and people who make my life intense.

Now, I have to find a helmet and run really fast before the feds catch up with me!!!!!


And another picture of me drunk....in my wagon (or short bus as some are calling it) with my friend trying to get a rise out of me. I didn't budge. Plus, I got squirted in the face by the fire truck, ice down my boobs, water squirted directly in my crotch area, and in my face. And I snored on.


All because I did a beer bong! Damn me for doing stupid things!


11 comments:

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I love that picture up there! ha ha So cute.

Kel said...

hahah...looks like it's been an interesting week so far - at least you have plenty to laugh at and not cry about!
~K

sltbee69 said...

*Snort. I'm laughing my ass off when I really feel like bawling my eyes out. You know you really amaze me - being in almost constant pain with your fibromyalgia and still keeping a smile on your face, finding humor in anything and everything. You truly represent the saying that laughter is the best medicine. You are super woman!

Kori said...

Those beer goggles make me want a drink. Love the picture. And this post just cracks me up.

krissy said...

Sltbee....

Thank you so much for recognizing that I smile through tears. So many of my family and friends forget. Today, I feel like laying in bed in tears because I cannot move my lower back. I am in severe pain. On a scale of 1-10...I'm a 40.

I cried when I read what you said. You recognize my issue. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Darn, now I'm crying!

Kathryn said...

I think I'd be scared to party with you. I'm so tame compared to you. ;)

Love the header pic!

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

lawdy girl i almost split my side open from laughing at this blog. good gosh that turd at target LMAO gross but some how I can't imagine getting that text to me... like i said LAWDY!!!

sltbee69 said...

Like I said Krissy, you truly amaze me and I'm in awe of you. My problems don't amount to a hill of beans when I think of what you deal with every day. ((((HUGEST HUGS))))

LaskiGal said...

It alwasy comes down to the jugs in the end, doesn't it!

With your sense of humor and what I can only imagine is one heck of a laugh, I think life must be pretty darned good . . .

Sandy C. said...

Dude, diet coke out the nose is no fun! Your poor friend :)

Hubby sounds like such a hoot! I wonder why you all get along ;)

LOVED reading this list. I would have been cracking up with you ;) Well...minus the poop. Blech!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Believe it or not....Mr. Mayhem has those same glasses! You are too much! :)