Monday, October 6, 2008

What has the internet taught me????

Remember when you first brought your baby home and you were completley clueless and you said: "I wish they had a handbook for this motherhood thing!"

Well, they do. It's called a laptop.

I have searched the internet for things like "Compulsive disorder" or "Sensitivity disorder" after numerous fights with my daughter about not wearing the $40 pair of jeans I bought her because they feel funny.

I have searched the internet for advise about the "sex talk" with a flipping 8yr old.

I have searched the internet for home remedies to help with my daughters horrible allergies.

I have searched the internet for a atlas, social studies, science, language art and math all to help do impossible homework.

I also searched on ways to make your child buckle down and do her darn homework as well.

I also searched homeschooling. For all of 3 minutes.

Along the way, I found things like:

Ear Wax. I searched for ear candles and came across a youtube video of ear wax. It is so wrong. Sadly, I was intrigued. Gall Darn it....I need a life.

I also came to the conclusion that lighting your farts equals scorched ass/pubic hairs. I have never, ever tried this. I swear to the Holy Bible...I have not. (I did not say that I didn't try to make my husband do it!)

I laughed my ass off at this yoo-hoo. His name is Paul. This guy made me snort.

Ewwww. Have you ever seen a bot fly? Oh my. This gave me the willies. The bad willies too. Not the good ones.

I have searched WebMD too many times and determined that I have every known disease to man. My doctor, sister, husband and friends have banned me from WebMD. I still don't understand why????

Meet Logan. Logan is a true testimant of God. I little boy with more knowledge and faith then most grown adults. I'm in awe over this sweet boy and I am humbled by his innocence. If you don't click on any other of these hyperlinks at least do yourself the pleasure of clicking on this one.

You can listen to one of my favorite rockers...Pink. I love this song. It's just fun and intoxicating.

And you all know I am a prankster. Right? I mean I broke into a friends house (with my hubby and other goof-ball friends) and destroyed their house with mean practical jokes. Don't worry. They never were able to get us back. Ha.Ha. We WON. Ha.Ha. So go watch these characters.

Okay. My arm is tired from all the hyperlinking. Have fun. I know I did. And one last thing I have learned is that I spend too much time on the ole' internet.


Kel said...

The internet is a fun and scary place. It's full of knowledge (some of which makes you 'baby barf' in your mouth!) hehe

Glad your gettin' your internet schoolin'!!!

LceeL said...

That guy in the tutu was funny - the smiley face may have been a bit over the top, but otherwise, he was fun.

Blessings From Above said...

"Remember when you first brought your baby home and you were completely clueless and you said: "I wish they had a handbook for this motherhood thing!"

Well, they do. It's called a laptop."

I LOVE THIS ANALOGY!!! It is so spot on!

I feel your pain about your daughter not wearing her clothes. Even though my daughter picks out all of her own clothes, she will not wear many of them. I have recently implemented a rule that she has to wear each item of clothing I buy her at least 5 times throughout the school year. Which given that they are in school for 9 months is not that hard to do. If she does not wear something 5 times, she has to pay me back for the money I spent. Some things it gets her to wear, other items she'll just go ahead and pay me back. But, at least now when we go school clothes shopping, she is a little bit pickier in knowing that what she buys, she will wear...or else!

HM said...

Oh you're telling me! The internet is a life saver and a nut maker at the same time!


Momisodes said...


I made the grim mistake of clicking on the bot fly. I am never ever ever going to Panama. EVER!

April said...

How did we EVER survive without the internet, back in the "olden days"?!?!!?

Tara R. said...

The yoo hoo made me snort too... loved the happy pants. I've been banned from WebMD too... go figure.

Grandy said...

I love Pink, often frequent WebMD, and need to find the links you did on getting your kid to buckle down on the homework. I think I beat you with only 2 minutes on the homeschooling thing too.

I've missed ya cracker mama!!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

You know, that's so true! New mommies truly have it easier now, they have people right at their fingertips to give them advice and let them know they are not alone. I never had that!
I love the internetz!