Yesterday was a day that I wish I could just close my eyes and it will all go away. Push the rewind button or click my sparkled red shoes together and say a mantra. However, I am not running from an evil witch or hanging with friends that have tails or straw for brains.
Yesterday, my father-in-law, had a massive heart attack and he went to meet his maker. He is catching the biggest fish in heaven with his dad sitting next to him with a fishing pole in hand. And he left us and he went to heaven. And we are devastated.
My husband is numb. My daughter is confused and torn. I am comforting and nurturing them with big tears in my eyes and a heavy heart.
My saving Grace is this. I spoke about God a lot with my Father-in-law. And I know for a fact, without a doubt in my mind, that he was NOT afraid to die. He looked forward to meeting Jesus and shaking his hand and he was anxious to see all the loved ones that went before him. And he had an amazing relationship with God. He was not afraid and there was no "unknown" in his mind. He knew that Heaven awaited him. He knew that it was full of big fish. He knew that it was a place with Golden Roads. No more stress. No more fear. No more loneliness. No more sadness. No more pain. He knew that there was never gloomy days or cold winters. He knew. And this brings me so much joy and so much happiness. I am okay because of this.
He was only 63yrs old. And he lived a full life. It was full of happiness, sadness, stress, fear, laughter, smiles and sometimes pain. He left this world and we are left with empty hearts. In time we will smile. In time we will think of him and not cry. In time. Funny how time will heal us yet time is what we yearn for the most right now. More time. One more minute with him.
We saw him on Monday. We hugged him. We told him we loved him. He did not go to Heaven with any doubts. He was loved.
We need strength and understanding the most right now. Pray for these things for us.
God Speed Dave. You will forever be missed. And thank you for the signs. You know what I am talking about.
Rest in Peace (at least until I get there!) We love you so very much.
Your disobedient and favorite daughter-in-law.