Tuesday, February 3, 2009

So Long Life....Heeellllloooo Guitar Hero.

Oh save it. I know Guitar Hero has been around too long for people to care anymore. But me, myself and I are really not that hip and rad. I don't follow fads, because with Katie Holmes rolling her cuffs on her jeans again, I would quite frankly rather spit some Tabasco sauce in my eye. And not because I would have to take the time to "roll" my jeans although that is a big part of it but more so because I think it is uglier then Kid Rock.

The reason I started my "Guitar Hero" infatuation is pure and simple. My husband thinks he is freaking Axl Rose on it. And anything he can do I can do better.

The End.

Or not.

I cannot let that human with a penis do better then me. And right now. He is way better then me. He is at a "medium" stage and I am still failing in the "easy" stage. And I look like a huge seizure when I play. It is disgusting. He looks like a gay member of Gun's and Roses but that is going away from my point.

I have used every excuse as to why I suck hairy balls. Like "My fingers are too short." or "I'm sweating too much." or "My butt crack itched." however, the reality, I am never gonna be a guitar "hero!" *sigh*

My reason for telling you this? Besides the fact that currently I am pouting because he kicked my fat hiney once again, is I haven't been blogging or commenting because of HIM and Guitar Hero. One way or another, I will master this damn game by summer or 2020 . I will miss you while I'm away being a gigantic loser, playing my daughters Christmas present all.damn.day. And this further proves that I need to involve myself in activities. Before my ass needs it's own zip code from lack of exercise. Did I fail to mention that I am such a lazy beast that I don't even stand while playing? Instead, I recline in my couch while eating mass quantities of peanuts. And no...I am not scared of getting salmonella. I laugh in the face of infectious diseases. Hahahahacoughspewpukevomithahaha.

The sad part of this story? I'm almost certain that I am such a blog failure that nobody notices my absence. And in case you didn't know this, blog failure is as disappointing as a lonely old mans hand getting too tired to jack off. That's a let down.


Patois said...

Rock on!

A Buns Life said...

It is so addicting isn't? Don't worry...you'll get better. If I can do it, I know you will get the hang of it!!

Kel said...

oh I've been there...the hubs and I use to battle each other every night...eventually it became less of a hold on us and life got back to blogging. Good luck kicking his butt!

Anonymous said...

put down the guitar!! we do notice when you are absent. your reader bonnye from west sacramento ca

Tara R. said...

My kid has Guitar Hero for his Wii. I've never even tried it, we also have Wii fit... I played it once. I'm a loser.

oh yeah... kick hubs air guitar arse!

LaskiGal said...

Woman, how did you know my mantra!?!

That's what happened to us when we got the Wii.

Maybe I need GH? Maybe not . . . I sorta like being married.