Sunday, February 8, 2009

Highs and Lows.

I have been reflecting a lot. Don't worry. Not in a sad way. Just a soap box sorta way. Keep reading if you are as confused as me and I will do my best to explain.

A friend of mine has a sick child. She works full time, is a mom full time and her mind is racing full time. The woman doesn't catch a break. Her down time is consumed with worries of her child(ren) and money.

She is a workaholic. She gives her all to her company. They don't return the favor.

She has to take time off of work quite a bit to get her son to the doctor or miss work when her son is sick or in the hospital. Her job threatens her often. She has been on written warnings about her attendance.

I understand, to a point, her employers position. After all, my husband ran his fathers company for years. It is crucial to have dependable workers. I totally get that. However, my husband was very understanding to circumstances and situations. Never, Never, Ever did he reprimand a employee for taking time off for family. He would have been a total hypocrite had he. Family, in his beautiful eyes, is always first. No Exceptions.

Even though I understand the importance of dependability, I cannot accept that companies don't understand life. Life happens and sometimes it knocks us flat on our asses.

My friend is a testament to this. Trust me when I say that she would rather be working then taking her sick child to the doctor. Or holding his hand in the hospital. Or rubbing his hair when he is throwing up. She didn't chose this life. She deals with it.

How sad is it that she has to feel guilty and ashamed to stay home from work to care for her child(ren)? She is in a constant state of guilt. If she goes to work, she feels guilty for not being there for her son. If she stays home, she feels guilt about not being at work and scared of the consequences.

She cannot leave this company. Most companies are the same. She is stuck. She is beating her head up against a brick wall.

I have been there. Working full time, at a job that barely pays the bills. It is very frustrating.

I was the one who stayed home with our daughter if she was sick. It doesn't make since for me to go to work, making little money, or my husband going to work, making triple of my wages. It isn't rocket science.

I was reprimanded as well. Written warnings. Embarrassment of the manager pulling you aside in front of your co-workers to scold you for being a parent. And as much as you want to show your teeth to them, you cannot. It doesn't do a damn bit of good.

I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom/wife now. I am a minority. Most families need 2 incomes to survive. And with today's economy, even the stay at home moms are reconsidering their position. Money is tight. Money is essential. Lose. Lose. Situation.

I am concerned for my friend. She is a single mom. Did I mention that? She is enduring more pain and stress then the average person. She is barely treading water at this time. She has family and friends helping her. She isn't alone. Yet she feels complete loneliness.

I stress to her: "Give us this DAY, our DAILY bread."

This to me means that you take one DAy at a time. Each night, you go to sleep. The next day, your slate is clean. New Day. New Beginnings. Sure. We are all putting money away for retirement and college. It is okay to plan for the future. But my motto is: "Worry about yesterday or tomorrow when you are there. Not Today." It may not make sense to you, but it does to me. And I hope like hell she learns from it too.

Prayer. Prayer is a powerful tool. He listens. He doesn't leave you stranded. He will fight for you. He always does. And even though we don't see His will or plans and sometimes it is the complete polar opposite of what you want, He will do what needs to be done. He knows your future. He knows you better then you know you. Faith. Prayer. Patience. Love.

Please bow your heads and pray for the families struggling like my dear sweet friend. Get on bended knee and thank the Good Lord for your blessings. Pray for those who are lost and cannot find their way home. Pray for those who are walking in the dark without a candle. They need you. They need your prayers. And above all. Feel compassion and understanding for people who are in less then desirable lives. Don't judge. Just feel.

*stepping down from the soap box now*

6 comments:

Tara R. said...

I can empathize with your friend, having to take off work to care for my son.

She might want to look into the Family and Medical Leave Act. http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

Brittany said...

Wow that poor poor woman! I will say a prayer for her and her little one. That is just so sad that people can't be understanding. I wonder if her employer has kids? I wonder how he/she would feel if in that situation? sigh. This world is just so sad.

the MomBabe said...

What an awful situation, it's so sad that employers don't GET that.

Patois said...

How very hard. And how very, very sad. Prayer made.

Michelle said...

Sending prayers....they can work wonders.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I have SO been there. I have lost two jobs due to having to miss work with sick kids. It sucks! I wish your friend the best.