Monday, March 16, 2009

New Friends.

Today is 67* outside with no wind. It is beautiful. It is gorgeous. It is my kind of weather.

Yet. I am restless. I am bored. I'm depressed for no good reason. I should be outside enjoying my weather. But I don't wanna. I could be cleaning my house with the windows open. But I don't wanna. I could go for a walk while jamming to my ipod. But I don't wanna. I could be shopping. But I feel guilty. I could be cleaning out the garage. But hell no. I'm blogging. But truthfully, I don't wanna.


I'm in a mood where nothing will make me happy. So. I turned to my friends. I sent out a text that read:


"Dear Friends. I am bored and restless. And because you are my friends you have no choice but to hear me whine. Trust me. I've heard you whine a thousand times before too so it is time to repay. Pity me."


I'm not dumb enough to think that there would be a pity party for me. I tried deeming today "Krissy-Pa-Looza" knowing full well it would be more like "Krissy-gets-Poopedon". But it was worth a shot. Here are just a few of my replies.


To: Krissy

From: Friend A


"I'm tired and don't wanna work so shut up. Go clean my house."


My response:

Fine. Just fine. Fine.Fine.Fine. I need new friends. (she totally knows I'm kidding.)


Her response:

haha. LMAO.


To: Krissy

From: Friend B


"Freak!"


(She has been my BFF since middle school. I'm used to her abuse.")


My response:

I'm deeming you a monkey's ass.


Her response back:

Good. Go get me some banana's.


My response back:

I'll get you banana's alright and shove them up your butt hole.


To: Krissy

From: Friend C


"Go get your eyebrows waxed because I have been noticing a uni-brow growing on your forehead.


My response:

I like having a Caterpillar on my forehead. It keeps my eye's warm.


To: Krissy

From: Friend D


"Life is a box of chocolates, so go eat some."


My response:

I'm on a freaking diet but thank you for making me hungry now.


To: Krissy

From: Friend E


"You are such a idiot."


My response:

You need a cat scan.


To: Krissy

From: Friend F


"Here's your pity. Piss off."


My response:

Wipe my ass! Nut lick-er.


(another long time friend and this is normal.)


To: Krissy

From: Friend G


"Krissy. Stop your depression or I will smack you upside your head. Do you understand me? Now go give your hubby a BJ"


My response:

You are such a crappy friend. And what fun is servicing him for me????? Duh


(Again. Normal.)


There were more words said. Finally I text them all and said.


"You all suck eggs. Boo.Too.You. I need new friends....ASSES. :-)"


And they all responded back with:


"We love you. You always make us laugh. You are hilarious. What would we do without you?"


So. Even though I needed the pick-me-up.....I made them all happier. You are probably thinking that I should feel good about making them have a better day and YOU.ARE.WRONG. I want to be the happy one today.


Well. Actually. I'll tell you that it was fun. So. It did make me happy. But I am not telling them that. And actually. I am so damn lucky to have these geeks in my life.


Here's my favorite pic of the week. It is my daughter. And I took the shot. She is my guinea pig. But a cute one.

2 comments:

Kel said...

Sounds like some AWESOME friends...(see there is JOY in servicing OTHERS) :)

Now, dip IT in some chocolate, lick away and get your eyebrows waxed and I promise...we'll all feel REALLY SORRY for you from here! :) hahahahahahahah
~K

Laski said...

Krissy, that is a gorgeous picture!

"But I don't wanna." Hey, you are totally entitled.

But, I gotta say, if I had friends like those, I'd be too busy planning my freak show circus to be bored . . .

Now, go shave that caterpillar off, will ya . . .