Weeeeee!

Yes, we are the brand new owners of a Wii.

And I suck the big fat hotdog.

My Wii fitness score is equivalent to a 65yr old women. That's pretty accurate really! LOL!

I haven't been able to play too much as I get dizzy and then throw up so my hubby can play all night and that means I have full access to the Internet! Diva is trying to bribe us into letting her stay up way past her bedtime and I think in the last 30seconds we have yelled "NO GET TO BED!" 4,050 times. She is persistent.

The big news is: I actually inquired into college. I am considering Phlebotomy (stinking people with needles and sucking the blood out of you!) I always thought I was a vampire! Anyway, the pay is good. And right now I have an application in with one of the hospitals. If I get hired, they will train me for free. If that doesn't work out, then I can take a year course at the hospital. I might as well sell them my blood for the tuition, but hey, it's worth it to say I did it. I'm praying that Sanford hires me! It would be sooooo cool.

Pssst.....My hubby sucks at Wii too! I just had to add that in there.

And you wanna know what sucks the worst about the Wii? My dogs are super dooper protective over Diva and me. If Craig play fights with us, the dogs go for the juggler. They will not allow anyone to harm us. Good Dogs! Anyway, every time my hubby swings the remote, the dogs get pissed and bark and yelp at him. They are not budging either. So, they go to time out (aka....the bedroom.)

Pssst....Hubby just got a par and is raising his arms and saying "Thank you very much, I am awesome!" Loser!

Anyway, I know I am going from one thing to the next but that's what you get from a dizzy broad. If you are the praying type like myself.....I would really love a few prayers. Just kindly ask God for the position I am hoping for. If you don't feel like praying for me because you think I am the devils spawn, well, poo on you!

And since I am asking for some prayer requests, could you please say a small prayer for Kori. You see, her husband has CF (Cystic Fibrosis) plus colon cancer. Can you imagine? She is a sweetie. A true and utter sweetie. And she walks the path with God. She needs carried sometimes but we all do. And her story has spoken to my heart. I need some prayers for this little cutie and her family. I want her to have so many lovely comments that her day is filled with love. So, read about her, then make sure you give her some linky love as well. This is not hard and would be so wonderful.

And also, could you people please send some Midwesterners my way. If you know some. Like Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Minnesota. I want a Bloggers Unite Convention. I need it. I need it so bad. I'm about ready to make my gal Kathrine from Wisconsin meet me somewhere so we can have a get-to-gether but wouldn't it be fun to add a few more???? A trip to Minneapolis? Come on people..........help me out!!!! BTW...if you don't know Kathrine, get to know her because she is AWESOME and I LOVE HER!

Alright, I must go take my 10pills again, curl up on the couch and stroke my hubby's ego. He's boxing now and I have a feeling that I am going to giggle and smirk at him. He's my love and thankfully he has a sense of humor when I tease him.

Don't forget to linky love a fellow blogger that needs a pick me up!!!
Hugs my dear friends, and if you read the post below this you can get some SEX talk too! Mmmmmmm.....SEX!

Dirty Sex Talk.....PG13

Back by popular demand.....

Let's talk about raunchy dirty sex! MMMMmmmmm, my kinda post, and apparently your kind a post too.

I want to discuss manhood. You know that ugly wrinkly thing that hangs in the middle of your mans legs, complete with 2 little shriveled up raisins. It's disguising. Let's face it. It's vile. Ick! They are U.G.L.Y and they don't have no alibi. Their Ugly, Ugly, yeah yeah their ugly (resorting back to elementary!)

So really, the thing that makes our men manly MEN are their jewels. I for one have been known to hurt my hub in those precious jewels. I try to take his manhood away from him when he gets ugly with me and he knows that I am quite capable of doing so.

But sometimes we need to let the men be Manly Men. We need to give them a ego booster. I know what you are all saying. "What about my ego booster?" and I will get to that in another post.

Today is man's day. You see, I am a believer that if you ego boost your man here and there and make him feel oh so important, good things will come your way too. He won't look at the credit card statement and scream. He may look at it and silently weep, but we don't care about that do we? Anyway, it's Karma. It's Respect. What comes around goes around.

So, since sex is every man's favorite pastime, let's give them a boost in the bedroom. You can compliment him on his unit, you can do things that you don't typically do, you can play Princess Warrior and he is the Prince. It doesn't matter. A simple compliment or action will make him "explode" with excitement.

I am trying to do this in a PG-13 way here people. So use your dirty minds and read between the lines. A lot of women don't play with their man and their jewels. Try it once! Surprise him! Show him who is a dirty dirty little girl.

Life is so much better when you are functioning as a cohesive team. This may sound a little immature but if you want a little "sumthing, sumthing" as well then say: "Hey, I just did bleepity, bleep, bleep for you, so now you do bleepity, bleep, bleep for me, Got it!"

Okay, a little nicer would work better but I love sounding like I am the control freak. Actually, I sorta am but moving on.............

And here's another little fun game to play. Simon Says! Ladies, get all sexed up in your dirty little lingerie. Dig it out of the drawers and dust off the spider webs. And then entice your man into this fun little game. He will be surprised and totally turned on. Keep it fun! Turn your sex life into fun, not numb!!!!

Any questions??? Email me at partywithkrissy@partygals.biz! I will answer them with an open mind and a lot of useful information.

Have fun!!!! Think Dirty!

This photo has nothing to do with my post.....I just thought it was funny and made me giggle!

Oh dear friends......

Thanks for the love and well wishes for me. I am still a dizzy lady, but hell, I've always been called ditzy so I guess I am just living up to my name.

I have some awards to share. First award is from my all favorite Grandy. I loooovvvveeee my Grandy. Yep, I call her mine and I don't like to share. She is such a sweetie and I just adore her. I heart you Grandy!

I am giving this blog to some of my dear sweet friends who never fail to visit me.

Brittany, who is just cute as a button, gets this award. Why?? Because she is witty, funny and most of all the never fails to visit and support me.

Kathrine, my fellow Green Bay Packer Fan and my little sweetie. She needs a picker upper right now and is a strong, loving, adorable lady. She has a heart of gold and nothing that I throw out there on my blog makes this cute chicky blush. My kinda girl!

If mom says it's okay.....I love her blog name. She is also a support and sweetie. Love her and her writing.

A Bun's Life.....Who doesn't love this gal. She is so real and honest. She is a strong, strong women. One who hasn't let her downfalls control her life. She is also hilarious.

Lisa is a breath of fresh air. She is a great writer and a great mom. You have to love this lady!

Huckdoll, come on, who isn't addicted to this whirlwind of sass. We are so much alike in so many ways. Honest and real. She is one of my good bloogy friends.

And then there was a second award that was awarded to me from a gal that is super. She is chronicling her life after a surgery to help with weight. I am so proud of her for this. We all suffer, and she makes it known that medical intervention isn't a easy way out. In fact, it is a lot tougher then we would think. She does Put the fun in dysfunctional though.

This is going to some awesome bloggers as well.

The Queen....All hail the Queen of Mayham. She does make my day!

Retarded Rugrat always makes me giggle with glee.

Nissa is a lovely person and makes the sweetest little things.

Lasikgirl is a terrific and hilarious.

Kori is a gal that is stronger then strong. Her husband has CF and Colon Cancer right now and she keeps it sane for her children. Check her out!

As always, my April, my closest blogger friend. She is always there for me even with her wedding is coming up very soon.

Jennifer is my new cool friend. She is a cutie and I love her to death.

Noble Pig is a hoot. Plus, she gives you great advice about wine. Ummmm.....Wine!

Stacy is a new friend to me but I already think she is awesome.

Lilith is such a miracle. Seriously, she is a single mom to 6 kids and never turns down other children in need. She is more of a women then me!

Sandy at momisodes is the best gal out there. Love her, Love her!

Jamie is a funny, witty girl. I love reading her blog.

Anglophilefootball Fanatic is so funny and so great. Love her too.

Sleeping mommy is a hoot!

Ohmommy doesn't need recognition as she is ubber popular in the blog world.

Mike was the one who gave me the roaring women award.

Jess has been here for me for a long time.

Mama Zen (the zen of motherhood) has always been a good friend too.

Amy at Brat Pack is so flipping great. I always laugh at her blog and she has been a friend for awhile now.

The Bingham Diaries........who doesn't love that girl?

Lunanick is another gal whom I think rocks the blog world.

Oh my God.....that was hard. If I forgot someone....Please, Please tell me. I didn't mean too. Seriously. As I was doing this my phone ran 4X's, my dogs were fighting and my kid was busy getting ready for school. My brain is dead and my head is still spinning. So, if I forgot you, please slap me and let me know to put you down. Please!!!!! Remember, I am not myself today and need your help. Love you all!

And for a funny!

Still dizzy but gonna try to stop by your blogs. Love you guys.

I know I was supposed to be around the hood on Friday. I had every intention to do so. Until Friday came. I have been having some health issues and honestly, some health scares. I have been dizzy a lot, throwing up all the time, no appetite, numbness in my arm and face and tongue. It was pretty spooky.

I went to visit my M.D. on Friday and he was baffled. He did some tests and I won't get these reports back until Monday. He informed me to go straight to ER if symptoms get worse.

Well....Friday night things got worse and I blacked out, hitting the floor. I was a wreck. I thought for sure I had something terribly, terribly wrong with me. I went to ER, they did a CAT scan looking for signs of stroke or aneurysm or tumor. They fear I have diabetes. Blah, Blah, Blah. While in ER me and hubby watched a movie (courtesy of the hospital, which was nice). I had the scans, the blood, the urine.

Everything came back okay. I have vertigo, a inner ear infection. The numbness was panic and stress. Old Doc gave me the lecture and increased a med. My hubby and fried were no help, as they were explaining that lately, my stress level seems to be out of control. So, ole doc was concerned. Thanks to my hubs and friend for making me sound like a psycho bitch...........

Anyway, I'm sleeping a lot, which is due to the vomiting, headache, stress. I am doing way better today and the meds already are working. Problem is that I cannot drive while on this med for my ear. So, I have to work tomorrow (this should be fun with dizziness) and my hubs has to be to work way early. This is my life!

I will get to you all.....some tonight, some tomorrow. Please understand why I've been so negligent. I miss you all! Really, I do.

So don't give up on me! I love you guys and if I didn't have this blog I would be very depressed. I need you all right now!!!

Sorry for a bummer post again. But just be assured that I am okay! It should only take a few days until I am my usually odd self.

Stashy McStash

These young fools. I know I sound like I'm an old hussie when I say that but seriously.....these young people are killing me.



You see....to become an Executive at Target, you must first have a college degree. It doesn't freaking matter what you have a degree in, as long as you have the student loans to prove it. I mean, you can have a degree in manure, and you would rise up to Exec status at Target.



So, what happens is these young punks get out of college and become managers/exec's. So if your a styling cool middle aged Mom like myself, your bosses are usually 10+ years younger then you. It makes life interesting at Target and you feel pretty old and worthless after a few days. Then you get over it because you are so much cooler then these young titty suckers. Seriously, I bet they never took their undies off going 65 miles and hour and throwing them out the window because you soaked yourself.....Nope.....that's only me!



So, these two new Exec's are trying to grow mustaches. Their hope is to get a different young Exec to grow "handlebar's" He's sorta a "monkey see; monkey do" kinda fellow, so that is the method to their madness. If we grow one, he will too. Problem with this?



These two young en's can't grow facial hair. It is hilarious. They have been trying for weeks now and both have "peach fuzz". I swear, my nose grows hair faster then their upper lips. (I will refrain from saying that I have a bigger mustache right now as that could be embarrassing!)



So, being the "always respectful and never rude" person I am, I gave these homies some nicknames.



Fuzz and Stashy McStash! Bwahhh, ha, ha! They are so retarded!



They laugh at me! I laugh harder at them. Today I questioned if their stashes were actually getting shorter! The one dweeb believed me!



"Seriously, can that happen?"

Bwahhh, ha, ha! I clucked and chuckled at him even harder. I was rolling some tears! What a bunch of yellow backs! Geesh!



Anywho, I am wiped out today. I swear, I was working in hell today. It is freaking HOT in that store. It is above "boiling" and with hot flashes and panic attacks.....it makes for a very smelly, sweaty day!



Hubby had little compassion for me. He just says:

"Uh huh, Oh Yeah? Really?" when I am discussing my horrible rotten days with him. I know damn well he isn't listening. So tonight, his unsuspecting ass will be missing a few butt hairs. I will pull out a handful while he is in a blissful slumber. Cuz I don't like people ignoring me! The last person that ignored me was some hooligan named "Jimmy Hoffa" or something and they still haven't found him! Damn men!

And a big Hoo-Rah as our house hasn't flooded yet! Yet being the key word. But so far we don't have an indoor pool! It was raining something fierce today too.

No work for me tomorrow folks.....so you will be seeing me around the hood!

So I'm reading a book....

And I'm learning to recharge myself.

I'm searching for my energy! My MoJo! My Umph!

It's been missing for about 2yrs now. It ran away to a far away land and it won't come home!

Ya see, I have a a undiagnosed form of "Fibromyalgia" What I mean is that the doc just kinda said: "Yeah, the tests are grueling and costy, and you show all signs of Fibromyalgia."

Symptoms of Fibromyalgia:

Chronic Fatigue
Constipation
Deep Muscle Pain (usually in one spot but does migrate to other areas)
Depression
Panic/Anxiety Attacks
Headaches
Strong "Aches" throughout the body
Energy Loss
Metabolism Issues

Usually this is caused by hormonal deficiencies (aka Hysterectomy at the ripe age of 31yrs old)

I'm not asking for sympathy here....
Okay, maybe a little sympathy cuz it would be nice once in awhile since all my family and friends are tired of me griping about this but whatever.....

Back to my point!

I need my MoJo back! So, I am reading a book! Ah-Ha! I told you I would get to this eventually.............

I'm gonna share this book with you; bits and pieces; and just the key points. So, it will be an easy read for you!

Cuz I'm nice like that! Well, when I don't have muscle pain, fatigue, constipation, depression, hot flashes, back issues, big boobs..........

Well, you get the point!

This book is called "The 10 Minute Energy Solution"

Think about this.....10 minutes a day, could energize your physical, mental and spiritual thinking. We waste 10minutes on so many things:

Standing in line.
Fighting with strangers.
Sitting at stop lights.
Whining about suppositories (or is that me only?)
Pooping out suppositories (oops, that's me again, eh?)

Anyway, so much time wasted on the non-important things in life. We get overwhelmed and stressed and often look at life as a steep pile of garbage and we will never be able to climb our ways to the top. Oh come on.....I cannot be alone again, can I?

So instead of looking at the hot steaming pile of garbage as a hill I can't climb, I take 10minutes and weed my way to the top. In no time, I will be standing tall on the top of that hill proudly displaying my white flag. Because I tackled it 10min at a time instead of standing at the bottom looking up and being scared to tackle it.

Really, who wants to tackle a mound of garbage. Especially if it is a mound of poopy diapers cuz seriously, I have felt that way before.

So, lets try something together. If you have a household chore that is overwhelming you right now, like laundry. Instead of going:
"Cripes, hubby has no clean undies, hmmmm. He might notice this!"
And then quickly pulling out a pair from the hamper and discreetly folding them and spraying them down with some air freshener and putting them in the drawer while he is in the shower (hoping hubby doesn't read this!), just do 10min of laundry (making sure that there are clean undies in the pile) and then tomorrow night do another 10 minutes of laundry and so on and so on! See where I'm going with this? I know that laundry, even one load, takes longer then 10 minutes so maybe I should just say:
"Only do one load of laundry a night!"

That makes me feel better. Do you get what I'm saying?

So, lets try it, and then comment on how it made you feel. Even if it is in a week, but all the laundry, dishes, dusting, etc. is diminishing. Tell me if you feel like you accomplished something or not. I'll let you know how I feel as well.

Now, don't worry about firecracker. Seriously, quit it! I mean it, stop worrying about me! I'm fine!

I am working hard with my doctor to get things under control! I am trying to find a happy medium. I'm gonna be okay! Promise!

Fundraising.....

So, you all know that I am the Queen to fundraising. Right? Okay, maybe you didn't but you do now!

Yesterday I was looking at myself in the mirror naked! EEEEEEEKKKKKKK! I screamed in horror at what I saw. It wasn't the mounds of fat rolling or the horrendous butt that I swear, was staring back at me. Nope, it was the toll that gravity has taken on my women hood that made me shit a brick! Since when did those suckers start to fall to their demise? Since when did my "lumps" head south? Why??? Why??? Why?????

*I'm crying in my diet coke right now!

So, then I went to the chiropractor due to my back aching when he informed me that the reason my back hurts all the freaking time is because of my gigantic mounds. Hmmmmm..........

So, my mind went numb from thinking too much and I finally made a decision. I am going to weigh these big bad trouble makers and see just how much my bra has to support each and every day!

I don't know if you ever tried to weigh your boob, but it doesn't work all that swell. I rolled over and flopped the bad ass boob on the scale. Hmmm......around 8lbs! That may not be completely accurate as it was extremely difficult but after I held one up in my hand(s) I made an educated guess. Yep, we are going with 8lbs.

I want my twins cut off! That is my conclusion! They have seen their day! Their time has come!

I brought this up to hubby, knowing that my "twins" are his favorite toy to play with. Sluggishly and as gently as I could, I said

"Honey, The boobs need to go!"

He threatened to take me off of the insurance. Okay, not really but he is very, very bummed. I am too, as another medical bill added to my pile isn't exactly my idea of "weaning stress out of my life" (per doctors order!) And like any other insurance.......I still have a huge deductible that I am responsible for! Craptacular!!!!

And then I got bummed b/c I played out my life the last few years. First a flood, spinal meningitis (medical bills are still being paid!), then a accident (all paid!), then a surgery (bills still not paid!), and then a flood, and then another surgery (bills still not paid!). Then the expense of the flood (At least $15,000!), then the medical bills put on the back burner because I don't have that much money saved for a flood, then the fence blew over ($2000 for new fence), then the wind blew shingles off of our roof (now we need a new roof and cannot claim it on insurance or we get dropped because of floods). Oh, and then payments on the medical bills equal about $400 a month. And now a new roof ($7000). Oh, and the outside of the house needs painted!

I am sobbing! I cannot afford my boobies to look "purdy" again!

I hate my house! I hate it because it is draining the life out of me! I used to love my house, but that was before it was sucking the life out of me!!!!

Then I thought...

"You know what! My life has been shit!" And then I threw a huge pity party! I even supplied the alcohol for my party. Did I mention that I am the only one at this party? Then I thought about a fundraiser for myself. You know, like a fundraiser to help the depressed? This is good thinking before I look like this:

this picture has been posted before and gave many people nightmares. So, be afraid, be very afraid!!!!

NOOOOOOO! I cannot look like that! EVER! I'm scared people!

Remember what my twins look like? They are okay when they are hoisted up by my incredibly strong bra! But you visualize them without the bra.....they look like the above picture! Not a pretty picture to paint, huh?

Then I panicked and thought about how I need a fundraiser! This is important damn it! I'm gonna end up looking like a hunchback if I don't get these rat bastards removed. Only to a C cup! That would be great. They would be perky, and purdy all over again. What did I do to deserve this???

Whine, Whine, Whine.

Then I thought about fundraising. Then I remembered why I put energy into fundraisers. Then I looked at this picture of Ayden

Then I put the wine away and stopped sulking! And I am sooooo not worthy of a fundraiser. I guess it takes the above picture to make me think rational and thank GOD for what I do have, not what I don't!

Welcome to reality! I must go get down on bended knees and say sorry to God for thinking like a selfish person!