Friday, June 5, 2009

I want to be just like my daughter when I grow up.

Because I am the mother of only one vivacious, over exuberant, sometimes ADHD daughter, I am able to observe things much more then parents with a handful of kids. I am not chasing after a toddler while dealing with pre-hormones at the same time. I am not running from softball with a son to dance with a daughter. You get the point, right???

My daughter goes to a very hip, pretty popular dance company. She is in hip-hop which takes up one night a week. We have a few recitals here and there however are calenders are not filled with dance. At one time, she was also in ballet while hip-hopping her tail end off. But my daughter, being the girl she is, was not thrilled with ballet and it was a bit to slow for her likings. Whatever.

The end of the year recital is a BiG deal. It's extra classes, it's dress rehearsals, it's confusion, it's mind draining. You never get the right information and you always call 10 different moms to find out times. Pictures.Outfits.Shoes.Leotards.Hair.Make-up. It is endless. And most moms are so stressed out that they pop out a few extra grey hairs every year at this time.

Except for me. Oh okay. So you would think that being solely responsible for only ONE kid and ONE Dance group and only 2 Dances and Outfits, I would get my poop in a group. We are talking about me though. So. Nuff' said. I missed a few practices because I was too busy yapping my big ole mouth instead of using my ears. Nice.

Anyway. As I sit through 2 THREE HOUR recitals tomorrow, I will be reminded as to WhY we do NOT allow our daughter to be in more then 2 activities at one time. I see worn out mothers, sleeping through the recital. I see other mothers in hives. I see mothers chasing after toddlers while trying to order their T-Shirts. I see mothers scream at their kids because the pressure is TOO MUCH. I see fathers balancing the check book and scratching their head. I see fathers pacing around the halls, confused as to what they should be doing. I see fathers balancing children in their arms, and carrying flowers to hand to their daughters and instructors after the show. I see mayhem. And I sit reading a book.

Some mothers are so full of baloney they should be renamed Oscar Mayer. As the dance parents join together and gossip, you hear a lot of bull shit. "My daughter wants to be a professional dancer, so the $500 a month we spend now is just establishing her dream." Another mother butts in with "My daughter wouldn't be happy if she didn't have activities scheduled So the 5 days a week spent running to practices are so worth it." Another mother who needs to excuse her madness jumps in "Oh. Totally. It's good to be busy now days. They won't be in so much trouble as they get older." And me? I sit and snicker at the shit that is spilling out of their mouth.

Never mind the fact that the $500 a month spent on your daughter's activities are paid by a credit card....because they cannot afford it otherwise. Actually, the dance center actually have a credit card you can apply for. Heh. And forget the fact that they cannot be approved for the credit card so their outstanding bill to the dance center is going to collections. And lets not discuss how family time is spent in a car and you or your daughter actually, the whole familyhasn't spent a day at the family table since dance started. And that these moms whom have more then one kid, have not seen their son's softball game in years. Or how about the fact that their daughters grades in school are on the decline because homework isn't getting done and studying happens in the 15min car ride to dance. And let's not discuss how their marriages are suffering because of lack of time together. Those are mute points.

You see. It's high school all over again. Each mom has to have the best of the best and their daughters this usually excludes son's, which is heart breaking have to be the best of the best for their reputation and popularity to shine. I am not making this up. They spend their life savings on tuition's. And they don't bat an eye at it. Sure. They sit together and bitch about how their husbands "just don't understand" and most of them are pouring their hearts out to each other about how they are not separated or divorced. And they cannot understand "WHY" this has happened to me. At the same time, they are using their cell phones to arrange drop off and pick up times for their sons softball game. They call strangers begging for them to usher their son to his one, lonely softball game. *sigh*

The dance studio does offer payment options. And they do offer to do some community service that would help pay for the cost of classes. So. These mothers rush day to day to work at a car wash, baseball game, walk a thons, ecetera to help lower the monthly bill. They do not factor in the gas and the fact that they are truly, in a nutshell, working a second job to support their daughter's extra curricular activities.

Limitations. It's a simple word. It's easy to achieve if you have a backbone. Is it a sin to tell your children "NO" once in awhile?? Or to put away your high school drama and focus on menopause? Do you really need to let your children do whatever they hell they want???

So glad I am really good at saying NO, although my husband isn't so happy about this.


Tara R. said...

Sometimes I wonder if parents bombard their kids with extra activities because they don't know how to relate to them face to face. So sad sometimes that coaches, dance instructors know these kids better than their parents do.

Rock on Firecracker Mom!

Anonymous said...

It's been so long since I've been here, and I must tell you, that you look fabulous!! What have you been doing? Or should I just track back and read for myself?

OHmommy said...

Gawd.... it's SO high school all over again. It's the same story here.

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