The trouble with water!

Update:

You wonderful, wonderful people! You are so freaking spectacular!!! I love it! The encouragement and support makes me get the boost I needed to fight like the dickens again. I have screamed my fool head off at the idiots in this town and I finally got tired. But, suddenly, I don't feel like being so tired anymore!!! "A screaming I will go!"

You see.....some of the people in this town don't agree with us. Mainly, because they are concerned about us suing the shit out of the school and they are worried about repercussions on their part! So, it is miserable when people roll their eyes at you or make up excuses for the stupid superintendent. Now that the town is seeing his true colors, he isn't very well liked and people are strangely changing their minds. Amazing! Some of these people were our friends though, which made for some uncomfortable situations.

The teachers all want this fruitcake out! He gets paid like $80,000 and has a huge power trip. I have been asked by many teachers to get on the school board, which then I would become his boss. I am highly considering it. I just have to keep my attitude in check for awhile and work my devious ways to kick him out! It goes to vote as to who is on the school board and b/c of some people being hateful towards us, they probably won't vote for me. And conflict of interest plays a huge part. I'm suing the school for criminey out loud! It's something I have to check into

For now, I just keep going down the stairs with my bleach bottle and killing the mold that grows. It's never ending, but it is under control for now! It helps to have people on our side though! I love that you are so willing to support me!

I have not gone public yet, under the advice of our stupid lawyer. That's another avenue that I have to fight. But the thought has been there all along. My great friend and number one supporter knows some people in the news world and the minute I give the okay, she is making the phone call. Word of mouth has been my only way of confronting this. And let's face it, my mouth is huge. I have no quarrels telling everyone and anyone who will listen how stupid the school and city are. Most agree!!!!!

Hugs to you all for being my buddies!!!! And wow....thanks for reading the whole thing!!! You certainly don't suffer from ADHD!!!!! LOL!
___________________________________________________________________





I will give you fair warning.....



This post is going to be pretty long and so not funny. This is our life for the last 4yrs. It sucks and it's sorta depressing. But my friends are sick of me venting about this and so I'm gonna blog about it. Each time I tell this story I get very emotional and very sick to my stomach. But I'm holding it in again and need to get it out before I go postal!!!!! If you don't feel like reading my sob story, I completely understand. If you want funny, read the Butt blog!



We moved here 4yrs ago. After looking for houses for a year we sorta found this house by accident. I fell in love with this house. It was my home! We put in a bid, had an inspector check it out and the house became ours. It was actually cheaper then other houses we were looking at and it was the best home suited for me. It was a sign!



The day we moved in wasn't all that stressful. We had been moving things in weeks prior to this so really, we didn't have a lot to finish the "big move". I had friends here helping, we were laughing and talking while we worked. We finally grabbed some wine and watched a movie. At about 2am we all went to sleep. I was so happy until at 7pm when my friends boyfriend screamed up the stairs "Craig, wake up, you basement flooded!" WHAT????



Sure as hell, it flooded. Of course, because the basement was a legal finished basement, all of our stuff lay on the floor waiting to be put in order. We threw it all away. Luckily I had added a rider onto our insurance for sump pump back up. All houses in Sioux Falls and surrounding areas have sump pumps. I wasn't used to this so I paid the extra $10 a month to add it to our insurance. It only pays up to $10,000 (minus the $2000 deductible) and covers only structural damage. What this means, our computers, t.v.s, printers, clothes, ect. were history. The adjuster came out and swore that even though the walls were wet, the sheet rock would dry and we only needed carpet replacement. Fine....we listened like the dumb asses we are and took his advice. We put down new, better carpet and bought all the personal items we lost again.



That whole year later, my daughter was always sick. Allergies were kicking her ass and her momma was shitting eggs. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going wrong with her allergies. I kept getting sinus infections. Bad sinus infections that Rx's and nose sprays wouldn't help. Then one day I got very, very sick. I couldn't move my head, I slept all the time, my neck hurt, I couldn't remember anything. My doctors sent me to the hospital (almost by ambulance but didn't because I begged them not too) thinking I had a tumor. After spinal tabs, cat scans, blood work, tests upon tests, they realized that I had the viral spinal meningitis. I was in the hospital for 3 days. They determined that my sinus infection got out of hand and infected my brain. Because it was viral, it wasn't too harmful but I could have headaches up to months after this. I had to have cortisone shots shot into the back of my skull, to dull the headaches. It was traumatic to say the least.



After that I still suffered with sinus issues and my daughter had pneumonia 8 times. I was getting ready to move back to where we came from. I was scared. I was worried beyond belief about my daughters health. My hubby suffered too.....and woke up gagging up green stuff daily. Things were wrong, terribly wrong. I had a bad feeling and the stress was taking it's toll on me.



Then one day my hubby was in N. Carolina and Diva and I sluggishly woke up. It had rained like a bitch that night. I stayed in my basement until 1am or about to make sure we were not flooding. Our sump pump was running continuously, so far so good. When we woke up, Diva looked down the stairs and freaked. Then she begged me not to freak. I half asleep wondered over to the stairs. I see water up to the 3rd step, our personal belongings floating by and no hubby to yell too. I started to cry. Then I pulled it together and called my friends whom all came over to help. It was a disaster. We had 14inches plus in our basement. I was in utter disbelief. I called the insurance, who they advised me to call a carpet restoration company to see what could be saved. I was pissed about that but had to listen or my piddly little $10,000 insurance rider wouldn't apply. The restoration company was here for 2hrs at the most, charged me $3000 and left. The adjuster came the next day and told us to rip out all the carpet and all the sheet rock. He personally said "This is a disaster!"



When we ripped out the sheet rock, we discovered mass amounts of mold. Mold all over the place. Hmmmm....wonder why we were always sick. That was from the first flood! Nice!



We had a engineer come out and look at the foundation. He immediately told us that the bus barn the school had built before we moved in was the blame. No drainage and the whole town pretty much drains to this area. It backs up under ground, and our drain tile and sump pump cannot keep up.



We fought with the school and city for a year. The city allowed this bus barn to be built without a building permit. After it was built they gave them the permit which stated that a detailed drain survey was to be done. It never was. The engineer who built the bus barn has admitted that it is causing our problems. The city and school don't care. Our neighborhood protested that bus barn going up, in fear of flooding. The superintendent at the time stated that if there was any flooding issues "the school would be responsible" We have that in the city minutes. This house flooded the year before we moved in, but the old owners blamed it on sump pump failure. Little did they know that it was actually the damn that was built behind them. We now have a new freak of a superintend ant that literally told us that it didn't matter what was said before. He's the one in charge now and he will not help us!! Then they told my hubby that we could no longer go to the school meetings to discuss the problem and try to find a mutual agreement. They didn't care about our problems.

Everyone knows the reason we are flooding.....but everyone pretty much laughed in our face!



We have gone to every single department in the government. All of them admit that the school and city broke the law, but they cannot do anything about it, it's not in their jurisdiction. Then they send us to the next level of government and so on and so on. I spoke to the Governor himself and my husband spoke to the FBI. Nobody can help. Everyone just offers us pity, but no help.



It's in lawsuit now but we picked the wrong fucking lawyer. He is worthless. We have flooded every year we lived here. Never mind the fact that a week after the big flood, I had major surgery. Then our insurance, because they gave us the $10000 (minus the deductible), gave us a very limited time frame to fix the structural damage or they would put a lien on our house. Remember we spent $3000 to the idiot restoration company, then we waterproofed our basement. We put in decorative cement flooring (which is gorgeous) which cost $3000. You can see where this is going. We have roughly put in $15000 to that basement of our own money. We put the medical bills on hold to get rid of the mold in the basement and to fix the bitch up. It is 3/4 the way finished, but because all of our personal property was thrown into a dumpster and the fact that we know we will flood again this year, it sits empty. I don't even want to tell you how much we have lost in home value. It's sickening. And then the medical bills started threatening us. We have to pay or we will have judgements on us. We are trying to fix a basement and pay for a very unexpected surgery too. Both things were unexpected. All our savings went ka-put and all of it into the basement, lawyers, etc. I chose to fix the basement and deal with the mold so my child won't miss mass amounts of school again and struggle to breath. I figured the medical bills will just have to wait. Priorities. But the hospitals and doctors and bill collectors could give a rats ass about our situation. They don't care and demand the minimal payment. This means we pay about $300 a month. Never mind that my health insurance paid over $19,000 for my surgery. It's not like they didn't get paid! The Rat Bastards are heartless.




The repercussions of this has been overwhelming and has caused us great amounts of stress. I could tell you more, but I would only bore you. Our city council and superintendent of the schools swore to my husband that water does run uphill (my husband is a mechanical engineer, and these morons are arguing with him). I have freaked out on these assholes before. It hasn't been pretty and everyone knows us as the "family that is suing the school". Ugh.

We have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped us threw it all but couldn't take it to court b/c of conflict of interest. He sent a fellow lawyer to a meeting with me (he or hubby couldn't attend). This lawyer, who got a crash course on our situation, walked out of the city council meeting and said: "You live in the town of Fuck!!! As soon as you can, move the hell out of this pathetic excuse of a town. I have never seen such ignorance and stupidity in my entire life!"

He fumed and vented to our friend lawyer and said that he totally feels sorry for us as we have done nothing wrong. He is right, we have done nothing wrong.

We spoke with everyone possible. No one will help! Everyone gives us their apologies and then quickly dismisses us as dirty old shoes. I could not even explain the amounts of heartache and stress I have. I am on anxiety meds as this was causing me to have ulcers and I was puking all the time. Most of the times blood. I know that my life could be worse....I get that! But it still sucks ass people! It leaves a bad taste in my mouth every.single.day! Like I'm sucking on rotten eggs! I sit here and blog through my tears. The memories of the sickness it caused my baby girl! The numerous times I slept with her, my hand over her chest, making sure she didn't stop breathing. The numerous times I lay awake just to hear her wheezing, struggling to breath. My doctors were concerned, and when we discovered the mold we all went "Ah-ha!"
My doctor will testify that it caused severe health issues for us all!



This is my life for the last 4yrs.........and it sucks. People are sick of hearing our sob story. People are sick of listening to me vent about how much I hate this effing town and wish I could move. People are sick of us venting. I don't blame them.

And my stress level hasn't been any better b/c I deal with this all the time. It is in my face daily. I want to move, but with the loss of property value, we cannot. So, we will sop up the mess again this year and fight the battle of mold again and again. It is a never ending battle.



Now that I have tears streaming down my face from exhaustion, sadness, madness and everything else.....I will sign off.



This really is only half of the story. I could tell you more and more, but I just don't have it in me. I don't want pity out of this, I just needed a place to scream as today is "one of those days!"



If you made it this far, thank you! If not, I understand! I'm inches away from saying screw it and move anyway. Screw the fact that we will lose even more of our hard earned money. WTF????

I would show pictures but I can't do it. It hurts.....deep! I can't stand to look at them anymore. It's not about losing everything. 3 computers, t.v's, my daughters baby memorabilia, her bible with her name engraved on it in gold from her Godparents, our antique furniture, our newer furniture, our place where friends and family could come and stay, all my Christmas decorations (including my $400 tree), surround sound, Xbox, pictures (lots and lots of pictures), my daughters scrap book, all of our summer clothes, and much much more.

Okay, I'm done! I'm quite certain most haven't made it to the 2nd paragraph! Sorry!

The trouble with butts!!!

There are many troubles with butts.

It can be that your butt is too big!

It could be that your butt is too flat!

I hardly doubt that anyone would ever say their butt is too small! And if they did I would stick a hot poker in their eye!

It could be that your hubby/boyfriend is a butt!

It could be that your boss is a butt!

It could be that your butt is crusty and itchy!

It could be that your butt has a hemorrhoid!

It could be that your butt hurts from getting it slapped to much!

It could cause you guilt when you spank a child's butt!

It could be that you have a gigantic pimple on your butt!

It could be that you like looking at nice butts; but your significant other doesn't like that too much and it causes problems!

It could be that you don't even like the word butt!

It could make you feel sick when you think about what comes out of the butt!

It could be that it is numb from sitting on your butt for too long!

It could be that your butt has a magnetic attraction to the couch!

It could be that ugly, smelly toothless men pinch your butt!

It could be that your doctor has to stick his finger up your butt!

It could be that your significant other has fantasies about doing the nasty with your butt! If you recall the Huckdoll sex question, you will giggle like me!

It could be that you are constipated and you have to stick a suppository up your butt!

It could be you are having major surgery and a nurse molests you by sticking an enema up your butt!

It could be you sticking a thermometor up your child's butt!

It could be that your butt is way to hairy!

It could be that your big butt doesn't fit into your skinny jeans anymore!

It could be that your butt seeps out fowl smells and loud sounds at the most inappropriate time.

I could go on and on but (no punt intended) you get the idea. Really, our butts are our "pain in the asses!"

And I just wanted to tell you about my redneck friend in Texas. This yoo-hoo's actually go "Rattle Snake Hunting." All I can say is that they are f'ing dim-witted. And then my retarded redneck sends me pictures knowing how much I hate snakes! What a pea brain!!!!!

I've still got sizzle in y fra-zizzle!

I can still attach my lips to any one's asses to get what I want!

I don't care that my nose is brown, I don't care that I smell shit on a daily basis.......I am an ass kisser, and I am proud of it!!!

Well, okay, so it doesn't work out like that! I just realized that I can schmooze a liver right out of a persons body! Okay, I'm not that good, but I'm a damn good actress.


You see, Target is trying to raise money for a little boy struggling with cancer. He is 3yrs old and is quite possibly, the cutest 3yr old I have ever laid eyes on! His family is struggling financially, emotionally, etc. We are working hard for some funds. Some good ole' fashion donations. It's part of "Oprah's Big Give!" Target in Sioux Falls got some money from the Queen herself, Oprah! So cool!



So, my hubby's stupid ass boss that I despise and want to rip his tongue out and strangle him with it was in Sioux Falls yesterday. He's resides in Minnesota. Anyway, I marched myself into the office, looking all professional (even I snickered there because I fell out of the car upon arriving there!) and gave the spiel. I looked like I was delighted to see him (even though I had nasty thoughts running through my head) and planted my lips right up against his tight ass. He is looking into doing a very large donation, that would help us out tremendously. Now why would he do this? Well, because at this point he is actually kissing my husband's ass and knows that if he gets on my good side, I can persuade my hubby into anything. He is obviously married and knows the rules!



Anyway, this fundraising thing is excruciating. It is pain saking b/c so many big businesses will not comply! It's sorta sad. I know that many big corporations donate quite often, but when it is something local and big like this....I would assume they would be more apt to handing over the green. I was wrong!



Oh well.....It's a challenge, and I love challenges.



And by the way, can I tell you something that I hate??? People who don't use deodorant! I have smelled the most rank smells while working at Target. Stinky, Nasty, Hot Garbage smells. It isn't expensive.....so instead of the 15bags of chocolate, maybe a stick of deodorant! And, while I'm at it.....why do people leave the house without brushing their teeth??? I really don't want to stereotype or anything, but they are always the nasty fat pigs that have food stains all over their white t-shirts and sweat pants. So Gross!!!



I'm on a mission to take better care of myself so I don't have "Dunlap Disease" (your gut has "done lapped over your belt") Seriously, if you don't like this word, forgive me....but I call it "Blubber Pu$$y" I just threw up a bit and swallowed it! Ack!!!



Anyway, if you have any great techniques for getting some donations, send them my way. This little boy deserves it, trust me! Just to give you an idea about this family: The dad works his ass off at night and then helps with Ayden's care. The mom's job was downsized while she was on a leave while Ayden was in radiation and they lost their insurance and had a pay cut. They have an older child who has a family of his own and they have moved in now to help care for Ayden and get him to his chemo appointments. And all the while, the mom still volunteers for "meals for wheels!"



They are amazing!



Because I spoke of nasty smelly fat people....here's my pic for the day!

A word from the not so wise!!!

Snow sucks!!!!!

It is snowing and it is the end of March!!! WTF??????

Another word from this old (not-so)wise owl!!!!

Husbands that stay home from work b/c of the snow should be classified as "Dead on Arrival" b/c this wife is going to slaughter him if he aggravates me one more shitting time!!!!! GO.TO.WORK.
As I was talking to my friend on the phone he stood in front of me mimicking me talking! He was saying "Gabby, Gabby, Gab!" He looked like a Chipmunk on Crack! So.Not.Attractive. I asked my friend, who does in home daycare, if she had any openings for this huge kid? I screwed up when I told her he still poops his pants because she said "NO!" Damn it!!!!! Actually, he's home b/c Diva has a school outing today and we are both going with her. So, he's playing good daddy today so I guess I won't kill him, but I might throw a snowball at him later!!!!

I gave my gay friend some advice the other day. He once texted a picture of himself and he looked like Boy George. It was spooky! So, as he was divulging way to much information to me, he mentioned that he was dumped by his boyfriend. I asked if he wore that Boy George get-up out with him. He said "yeah!" (all excited thinking that I was going to say how cute he looked!) I said "Seriously, don't ever wear that outfit again unless your gay butt wants to stay single forever. And since you play the "girl" role, go wax the eyebrows."

I'm pretty sure he did!!!

So, if you ever want advice and you don't want honesty (I am the friend that tells you that the outfit you just picked out is ugly as hell!), don't come a talking to me! I'm only brutally honest when the moment calls for it! Usually, I'm a bit more subtle and nice!!!

Well, looks like we are going to play the good parents now. Pray for my sanity as I get all the girls (because I am the cool mom!) and I'm sure they are going to whine, whine, whine all freaking day! And pray for my sanity with my hubby to b/c he will whine, whine, whine as well however I can spank him!!!!! ;-)

Pictures later.......of me spanking my hubby! Just kidding!!!!

P.S. In case you missed it.....the post below this one was my somewhat birth story. It's long, but if you want to read an "Ode to my Girly Parts" it's worth it!!!!!

Peace!

Dear Ovaries and Uterus and Kidneys:

Our relationship has never been on the best terms. From the moment that you started wreaking havoc on my body, I swore then and there that I hated you! My first period was a sign of what kind of anguish you brought to me. As the years continued, and I sat on the toilet for a good week, I contemplated ripping you out of my body myself. I would have used a dull spoon to cut through my flesh just to rip you out! When I said I hated you, I meant it!

And then one day I felt funny......a funny I never felt before! And I thought to myself: after all the years of doctors telling me that my girly parts would never cooperate with me enough to have a child and your only purpose was to give me 2 periods a month with extreme pain and extreme blood, could you have really done the unbelievable and given me the gift of child?? After 3 home pregnancy tests and a visit to the doctor, it was confirmed.....you did your job right for once. I was scared and elated both at the same time. I was scared because you chose to house a baby at a inconvenient time and my mind was telling me this was bad, really, really bad. But the boss (my heart) kept thumping "good....good....good" and I knew from then on out that my heart was God telling me that things would be okay!!!

During my pregnancy, you continued to give me some problems.....but nothing I or a very wonderful doctor couldn't handle. All was well until your neighbors; Mr. and Mrs. Kidneys, took over being the asses. They made me feel like I had a drum player jamming out in my back, decided to bleed, and caused excruciating pain. Then my kidney doctor told me that they were shitholes and that I wasn't going to be able to remain pregnant. I disagreed, listened to my heart again (or God!), and chose to continue my pregnancy.

After months of torture, you decided to join in on the fun with the kidneys and tried to reject my baby, the one you were housing. She apparently over-stayed her visit. But once again, my wonderful doctor was way smarter then you and we prevailed again!!!! Ha, Ha!

Finally, the time had come where my baby was going to leave her home, naked, covered in yuck. But then other parts of my body protested once again. Not only did the kidneys go haywire, but my hips decided that they didn't want to move over enough to let this 7lb, sticky child out! And my spine decided to reject any epidurals so my pain was enough to make me want to jump out of the 4story window. I was losing my mind! I had no sleep b/c Mr. & Mrs. Kidneys decided "Oh how fun is this.....let's party like rockstars so our host cries in pain all night long the night before she tries to push a watermelon with shoulders out of her girly hole!"

Finally, the wonderful doctor decided that you could all screw off and he cut open my stomach and pulled a pissed off sticky, stinky baby butt first out of my guts! It was fun! And there she was, covered in mucous, a head shaped like a cone screaming out words that we couldn't understand.

And then the doctors decided to kick "Mr and Mrs. Kidney's" asses and gave them some drugs to calm them down. And then they gave me some drugs too.....and life was so much better. I saw my baby girl, held her and fell madly in love with her.

I did great during my 5day stay in the hospital. Until the 4th day, when they took away my happy medicine, just like that. My mind decided that this would be a great day to give me a dose of depression. What a wonderful baby gift to give me!!!

After two weeks of crying every single moment of my life, my mind decided to be an Indian Giver and took back the depression. Life was great again......

I had a beautiful daughter (even though she had the ugliest case of cone head ever!) Then I met the man I knew I would spend the rest of my life with and he accepted my cone head baby like she was his from the beginning. What a wonderful life! Until the girly parts decided to become bitches again!!

Cue 7yrs later!!!

Thank you to Dr. Mabee, OBGYN who decided to win the war and rip out the bitches. And that he did. Those bitches are homeless in the trash now! Who's laughing now bitches, who's laughing now????????

Well, as much as my hatred burned through me, I must admit. I miss you at times. I miss having hormones as they are so important in the body. Because even though I don't have to by tampons or pads any longer, I now must deal with constant body aches, constant emotional disorders and numerous other things. It is bittersweet!!!!!!

But thank you for at least giving me my one love, my sweetie, my daughter. Thanks for housing her for the 9 months that you did and thanks for reconsidering kicking her out at 6months of living there. She was worth every single minute of pain and torture you pissypants gave me!!!!

*This is my version of my birth story! It is an ode to my girly parts! It's retarded I know, but hell, I have to always do things differently!!!!!!*

Miss Cone Head-2days old

Diva and Uncle Shane swimming in the pool.

Diva and Papa....best friends forever!

Being a good girl and doing a wonderful job being a flowergirl!

Soccer girl....not sure what happened to this picture....it did it as it downloaded and I'm to lazy to do it over! :0)

Family Picture

Diva (sitting on the car) with my niece and nephew!

Thanks for reading my birth story.....if you made it!

Guess what happens when I get tired???

1: I whine like my daughter does when I make her wear clothes that she despises (which pretty much is her entire 4 racked full of attire closet....the little shit!) I make sure that everyone in ear shot knows how tired I am and why I am so tired. I blame my lack of sleep on my hubby, my daughter, my mom, my dad, my sister, my nieces and nephews, my dogs, my in-laws, my friends, El Nino, President Bush, The Queen of England, terrorists and the hole in the ozone.

2: I get as bitchy as a redneck without beer. I bitch about all of the above plus some. My family wants to push me off the face of the earth and my hubby wants to strangle me! It's fun sometimes really.....I kinda like being ousted from my family b/c then they don't expect things from me.

3: I complain about my big fat honeysuckles (boobs for those that don't know slang!). I complain to my husband that if it wasn't for my huge knockers my back wouldn't be so sore and my feet wouldn't hurt. And all would be right in the world without a huge butt crack on my chest. Seriously, you've seen them....they don't look like boobs.....they look like a gigantic ass. And lets face it.....I already have one gigantic ass.....I don't need one below my chin too!!!

4: I blame everyone else around me for being crabby. I sit in disgust and give nasty looks to everyone around me because I cannot believe how crabby they are being. How dare them be crabby when I am tired of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, have one big fat uni-boob, and have a sore back. What a bunch of asses!!!

5: I think at this point I start to cry.....Oh man do the tears roll down my cheeks. I cry because of all above and because of an episode of "Full House!" I cry loud and the sound resembles two whales humping! It's really gross! I have snot flinging from my nostrils and I get the worst case of hiccups. Then I get a migraine and my crabbiness increases significantly.

I finally go to sleep and then wake up the next morning with a smile on my face.......and my family stares at me with fear in their eyes. Because who knows what personality will surface each day!

I love it.....absolutely love it! I love keeping people on their toes.

Keep the emails coming with your sex questions. I have a feeling that it will be a doozy.....or that could be gas....but whatever! It will be fun, nonetheless!!!

Hope you had a terrific, wonderful Easter!!!!

More adventures of Tar-Jay!

Well, I went to work last night. Lynard pulled the BFF card out on me and I was suckered into going in. But, I did get a free movie out of it!!! Score for me, Easter cost me a whole whopping $22 dollars this year for 3 kids (my niece and nephew too!)

Limited Too: Buy one Webkinz get one free. It was my nieces b'day and she wanted a Webkinz, so she got one for her b'day and Diva got one for Easter.

Target: Discount, free movie and free diet coke again. Got the little rugrats some piddly shit and then I bought them a movie to share.

I am a genius! I know you never knew that, but you do now! I am a consignment shopper genius!!!!

Anyway, last night wasn't as bad. It was busy but I managed to make the best of it. Here's how.

1: I was walking into the stockroom last night and had a brain "lockdown". I swore the doors were automatic. So, I walked right into the freaking doors, which made a loud bang. Thank the Lord Jesus that my BFF wasn't there b/c she would still be laughing. Don't worry about me though, my "airbags" saved my face from distortion.

2: A women in my line as I was cashiering told her hubby to "Shut the f@#@ up!" He was bitching about money or something like that and she went ape shit on the man. He did "shut the f$#% up after she pitched a bitch out on him! I was belly laughing after they left!

3: Crabby bitches who needs some attention to their poo-tang soon! Maybe they would come down from "Bitch Mountain" if they had a gigantic orgasm! Dang! I laugh at them...ha, ha, ha...
because as hot as they feel they are, they are obviously still not getting some porn action! But I am..............ha, ha!

4: There is a member that works at Target with us who is legally blind. He can see some with his huge glasses but when he reads things he has to have it right up to his face. I'm not making fun of him, he is a funny guy who has a great sense of humor, okay! But we were putting swim suits away and he would have to have the swimsuits right up against his nose to figure out where they go. It looks like he was sniffing the swimsuit bottoms. Not to mention he breathes heavily out of his nose. He totally looked like a panty sniffer. Customers gave him a second glance and I busted a gut! He's such a cool guy though and laughed with me. He's one of those naturally happy people who act like a yellow lab when he sees you. He bounces around until you acknowledge him. Love him.

Anyway, I made the most of it and had a fun time. I'm spoiled and my BFF and the other Executive that is a friend let me do stuff that others wouldn't get too. I should feel bad about that but screw it......it's cool to get spoiled once in awhile.

Happy Easter! I have to get my tired ass up and showered as my mom just called to give me a list of shit to pick up at any damn store that's open. Thanks Mom! I just have to say though that I hope that we all recall the reason for Easter and that Jesus makes Easter special, not the Easter bunny that I ran over a few months ago!!!!!

Hugs friends.......God Bless!